There’s a fascinating article in today’s Times. It’s proper title is ‘the calorie swap guide’, but I use the working title: ‘FUCK DAT!!!!’ It tells you everything you deeply, profoundly, intuitively and educationally know. Which is that all the food you really love is massively high in fat, calories, poly-unsaturated stuff, E-numbers and death. Which – Read More-
Tomorrow night sees possibly the biggest football game in the entire history of the known universe. Which, as you know, dates back 13 billion years!!!! Because Tottenham play Liverpool. Doesn’t matter if its home or away, football’s really not about that any longer. But its a game that, up until a few weeks ago, would – Read More-
The long and short of it is: we need vaccinations. Loads of them. So that good, English people of a post-Brexit and not-at-all-European-whatsoever nature can enjoy the protection that it bestows upon us, both as individuals and more importantly, nationally. In a British way. And now the Europeans want to screw it up. They want – Read More-
Lisa Nandy, Labour motormouth northern spokesperson for everything, described Joe Biden as ‘woke’. Has she seen him? He’s more half asleep. Yet, of course, she means ‘woke’, the most stupid, nauseating word purloined by the militant PC brigade, who’ve also stolen the term ‘cancelled’ for those found wanting in the woke department. To the extent – Read More-
I think we need to talk about words. Not just any words but special words. Loaded words. Prejudicial words. Words that cause upset, depression, consternation and even constipation. Because words can be inflammatory. We know that. Sometimes that’s their purpose. Like Donald Trump before the Capitol invasion. Or Martin Luther King’s “I have a dream”. – Read More-
I thought I’d seen it all. I thought the world had really reached a kind of ‘rock bottom’ normally reserved for wartime levels of ‘atrocious’, for acts of genocide, for apocalyptic meteorological phenomena, for tsunamis, even for Donald Trump. I thought nothing could surprise any longer. Until yesterday. When I saw a brand new Porsche. – Read More-
In 1762, John Montagu, the 4th Earl of Sandwich (no spoilers here) invented the doner kebab. The legend goes that he was such a compulsive gambler that he wouldn’t leave the tables to eat and demanded, as Earl’s do, that food be brought that he could eat with his hands. Well, preferably with one hand – Read More-
We watched a movie last night. I think probably our first since… since… since The Pandemic!!! started last March. Well, if there were others, they’re so notable they’re forgotten. I’d like to have my own cinema. Not a ‘home cinema’ but, like, The Electric in Notting Hill, or The Phoenix in East Finchley, big, proper, – Read More-
The thing I like about football is winning. The thing I hate, loathe, detest, get sickened by, and become maddened by, in football, is not winning. Particularly against teams we ‘should beat’. Ok, there’s no guarantees in life or football. Anyone doubting the wisdom of that truism just think back to March, April, May… So – Read More-
Today, I was attacked. Not like, at tai chi, when we do it with swords or knives, planks of wood, lumps of concrete, done nicely, friendly, no. This bastard came at me with a fucking needle!!! Attached to a syringe!!! Filled with… LIQUID!!! Bastard!!! Doesn’t he know I’m a lifelong needlephobe? But as the liquid – Read More-