Today, the 74th day of the apocalypse, they banned sport. All sport. You can still play bridge. But only wearing rubber gloves and in a chlorinated swimming pool. Which is empty because swimming is banned along with every other sport. But in terms of ‘real’ sport, and even things like F1 and ‘golf’, the things – Read More-
Well here I am in Day 73 of my Coronavirus diary and pleased to report, as I have for the previous 72: NOTHING’S HAPPENED!! Making it possibly the most boring diary since… Well, probably Victorian times as no-one with an Instagram account would ever bother with something so primitive as a ‘diary’! My measures are – Read More-
We’ve been escalated. From ‘virtually nothing’ our national status has now been moved to ‘a little bit more’ as we, as a nation united, join together to avoid getting sick. Well, not really sick, but more, not very well for a day or two. So we’re into the official ‘delay’ phase in which we’re delaying… – Read More-
Budget day today. Not the budget Rishi Sunak thought he was going to give, when he got the job a couple months’ ago, but a different one. This is the world’s first Coronavirus Budget. I think he’ll put a 20% tax increase on anyone getting the virus and then they’ll think twice before contracting it, – Read More-
It’s Purim today. Did you know that? It’s a Jewish holiday where you make a lot of noise and eat little poppy seed cakes. Jewish holidays are always defined by the food. Always. And on Purim you dress up. Fancy dress. Because that’s what God said. Purim celebrates the salvation of the Jews in Persia. – Read More-
Where’s ‘international men’s day’? Why don’t we have one? There I am with my almost ‘equals’ sign (another 4 months’ of physio and I should make it) and then I find that women get not just a ‘day’ but an ‘international day’ in celebration of… of… of women. I celebrate them every day. Except when – Read More-
I know that the Duchess of Sussex (Meg) is quite a divisive character. Marmite (nothing racist in that word). People hate her and people love her. I’m a lover. For although she has broken our royal family asunder, has upset Her Majesty the Queen, has shown disloyalty to the throne of England, is taking our – Read More-
I’ve made a decision. On behalf of the whole world. That anyone who uses the word ‘woke’ not in connection to having been asleep, is a tosser. Of such magnitude that they should be arrested, publicly stoned (in the violent sense, he’s probably already in the other one), or eviscerated with a wooden post. Or – Read More-
Spurs lost a match on Wednesday night. I’d just finished playing bridge when the penalty shoot-out started. ‘Watched’ it on text stream because I couldn’t find it anywhere. There again, I’m not the best at finding anything: keys, phone, ‘that bill I put somewhere and needs payin’’, my shoes… And we (faaaarrrrkin!!!!) lost. To bottom-of-the-table – Read More-
This lady is Kim Yo-jong. Who was first seen in public at the funeral of Kim Jong-il and assumed to be Kim Jong-un’s wife. But in fact is… (pause for effect and suspense like they do on game shows…) his SISTER!!! Which doesn’t mean they don’t sleep together, who knows what happens in North Korea. – Read More-