Saw a message from a mate yesterday who’d watched 3 rugby matches before lunch, then (tragically) watched Spurs at lunchtime in the battle of VAR, then there was still the thrilling (zzzzzzz…) Newcastle vs Brighton match in the early evening. What a day he had. All he needed was a potty and he needn’t move – Read More-
If I was at a fancy dress party and someone there was dressed as a chasidic Jew, with the stick on beard and side curls and the fur hat and shiny coat (I’m gonna presume for these purposes that this is NOT a Purim party at the synagogue but something more secular and the wearer – Read More-
So I went out for dinner Wednesday night with Greg… Yeah, Greg. Geezer from ‘Masterchef’. Oh, weren’t you invited? Yeah, lots of (very B-list) celebs take me out… Angelina (keep your hands to YOURSELF, Jolie, I’m a married man), Prince Andrew (I’m not going to the school gates with you again, Andy, I’m hungry), Taylor – Read More-
My country is fucked. Brexit dunnit. Cast us asunder from each other in a shit-storm of acrimony, bile and hyperbole. And more than a few lies, fictions and, what we can generalise as ‘Farage-isms’. We are a nation divided. And yet still, nothing has actually happened. Because the shit-storm doth continue and the casualties mount – Read More-
Sometimes the news is so ‘good’, so funny, so stupid that you really don’t need people like me (as if) to take the piss out of it, it does it all by itself. And I think yesterday must have been ‘national tossers day’ or something because the ‘news’ today is just stupid. A story that – Read More-
When Joey gets tummy time, we ALL get tummy time! That’s a house rule. Some of the Barbies didn’t get the memo. But in between tummy time, and Barbies, and tennis and all sorts of stuff, there was some sport played this weekend. You may have missed it. But it was just… one of those – Read More-
I’ve started playing with my Barbie dolls once more. I’ve missed them. Forgotten what great fun it is to stretch a (plastic-)skin-tight t-shirt over unbending arms and immovable wrists, squeezing tiny shoes on feet permanently angled for 8 inch (to scale) stilettos, so that when you put ‘her’ in trainers or onto her snowboard, she – Read More-
I love a survey, as you may know. The general rule is: all surveys are bollocks, all statistics is bollocks and if you combine the two you end up with a level of bollocks that is significant to a statistical degree of bollocks-squared. Which doesn’t occur anywhere in nature. But YouGov surveyed 2000 adults to – Read More-
My Prime Minister is a good man. He’s a Con-serrrrrrr-va-tiiiiiiiiive, inn’he? Like Churchill. Like Maggie, Go’rest’er’soul. And therefore, as the man on the street, whoever is the current Prime Minister, I willl love him. Or her. Long as issa Conservative. Ahhhh, those heady days of Alf Garnet-like complete support for any head of our government – Read More-
I’ve never been to Iran. I never will. It will be the stamp missing from my passport when my final travelogue is compiled. Ok, there’ll be others. Probably won’t make the Congo. North Korea. Afghanistan is unlikely and I don’t think I’ll have time for Oldham. But Iran is a place I’d be scared to – Read More-