I’ve never really understood the literal message of the whole ‘football’s coming home’ thing. Great song, wonderful sentiment but football is at home. Well it is in my home, all the bloody time (as Mel would say). Its here. In England. Home. Obviously it means the World Cup is coming ‘home’. Yes, the Jules Rimet – Read More-
Now I know what it must feel like to be Swiss. To be someone who is ‘neutral’. Not in a gender way, though that’s very popular at the moment, but in a life way. To be neutral. To spend your life sitting on fences, being impartial and enjoying the security and comfort that whatever happens – Read More-
Ok, I’m convinced, this world cup is the best ever. Firstly because its happening right now and all the others, even the 1966 one, happened years ago, but also because its just brilliant. I never wanted to like it, I didn’t think Russia should benefit from the prestige of hosting a world cup whilst they’re – Read More-
The world needed a new word, and here it is: foneley. Its neat, succinct, durable(?), errr… washable, comes with a 2-year warranty and is very flexible in usage. Foneley Harry Kane would’a kept that shot down. Foneley I could have caught the earlier train. Foneley that tennis ball would have stayed the right side of – Read More-
Yaaaay! England won!!… the rights to enter the ‘easy’ half of the draw for the rest of the World Cup. And depending on how long that ‘rest of’ may be will decide if the manager’s decision to ‘rest’ 8 of his starting players for a game that ‘didn’t matter’ was a brilliant one or possibly – Read More-
Yippe-yiiy-yaay; Uber have been given another licence to… to Ube. Once more we can press a button on our phones and be taken anywhere in the entire fucking world for nothing. Well, not exactly ‘nothing’ but without the need to handle that dirty, folding stuff for payment. And that is, quite frankly, brilliant. A 15-month – Read More-
They say Rome’s hot. London’s hotter. Trust me, I’ve tested it. And apparently its hotter than Rio, hotter than everywhere. We are, in the rather silly world of ‘competitive weathering’ Heat Central. Which is fab, of course, until you get on the tube or try to sleep. But we cope because its so wonderful to – Read More-
We didn’t exactly get ‘thrown out’ of the Vatican, because at the last moment I managed to not cry out ‘YID ARMEEEEE’ on grounds of impropriety. But we were turned away from the entry. Because Mel is such a hooligan. Ok, she was wearing a (gorgeous little, obvs) dress that failed to cover her shoulders. – Read More-
The last bastion of pure maleness has been breached. The last domain in which men ruled, seemingly unopposed, has now fallen beneath the great sword of equality. And I’m not talking about football, the game that has for many years been played by gels as well as boys, but football commentary and punditry. Gary Linneker – Read More-
When you arrive at the Coliseum you do so with a pre-assembled cast of 42,000 people. At least 29,000 of whom are trying to sell you, in order of annoyance: ‘Beat the queue’ tickets, but the queue to buy those was way bigger than the one to get in. Bottles of water. To whom I – Read More-