I play tennis. But I don’t serve. Ooooh, that’s contentious. Or rather, non-contentious; how can you play if you don’t serve??? If you don’t score?? Well, due to long-term shoulder-fuckage, I stopped serving about 15 years ago when, as a keen statistician, I noted the subtle correlation between serving, overhead, four times, and the agonising – Read More-
What’s wrong with eating meat? Whilst so many cry out that vegetarianism will make you live forever, that vegan is the path to physical and moral purity, I’ve decided that carnivores need to take a stance. We must harness the inner tyrannosaurus and ensure that loads of animals end up on my dinner plate. Well, – Read More-
Do you ever just think: the world has become too clever by far? And, kind’a, left YOU behind? I’m fine, I’m a high tech dude fully conversant with all electronic wizardry and smart phoniness that you could be. But don’t’cha just worry at times when you’re looking for a book and it knows where you – Read More-
I never realised that you ‘apply’ for a knighthood. Who’d’a thought that? You just go on the website, knights-of-the-realm.com (don’t go, I made that one up) and download an application. I want to be a knight. I’m a good guy, I have my own sword (no euphemisms here) and I’m fucking noble. Yet its not – Read More-
A state visit is an event. A big event. Fucking massive in fact. They wheel out the horse-and-carriage sets, polish up the Coldstream Guards, dust off the Crown Jewels and, oh, provide a bit of security too. Just 40 or 50 thousand police should do it. Plus secret service, anti-terrorism boys, and any teams the – Read More-
The problem with Donald Trump is that he says (or normally just tweets) what he thinks. No filters. The good thing about Donald Trump (yes, there is one good thing) is that he says what he thinks. No filters. When he fires off a tweet at 3 o’clock in the morning he’s just lying there – Read More-
Last year at about this time of the season, Spurs found themselves in the lofty and a bit unexpected position of being the team ‘chasing runaway leaders’ for the title. Long way to go, 14 games or so, but there we were, second in the league and chasing… a pretty much lost cause. Last year – Read More-
Last night during my nightly tv-surf, I chanced upon Bullitt. The late 60s Steve McQueen cop movie. Which contains, arguably, ‘the finest car chase ever filmed’. Better than the one in the French Connection, better than the Blues Brothers (279 police cars smashed up en route), better than Vanishing Point even, which was an entire – Read More-
As an almost qualified clinical psychiatrist (I read a book about Freud in 1984), I have chosen, as my most recent case study, the person hereafter and forthwith to be referred to, in order to keep professional standards up and personal expenses down, as ‘Jose Morinho’. Even though his real name is ‘client X’. Mr – Read More-
Went to see the movie Denial last night. Had to. I’m Jewish. Its about the holocaust, or in this case, denial thereof, and its in our contract that we go see all relevant films. No choice. And it had Rachel Weiss in it, who is adorable, and Tom Wilkinson, who is brilliant and Timothy Spall – Read More-