WE ARE OUT!!!! We are no longer part of ‘Europe’. We are now applying to become the world’s smallest independent continent, on its own, and nothing whatsoever to do with those smelly garlic eating nations which just happen, by mere quirk of geography, to be much nearer to where I live than is Glasgow. The – Read More-
The last time Roy Keane had his hands round someone’s throat he finished the job, strangled the bastard, then killed the wife, three kids and Alfie, the Labradoodle. Then he ate them. Raw. Yet this was a genuine ’embrace’ with Ireland manager Martin O’Neill, having just witnessed their team’s quite amazing victory over Italy last – Read More-
Scumbag Ben Butler was jailed yesterday, for murdering his own daughter. Who was just 6. This tragedy is even more profound by virtue that Butler should actually still be in jail for abusing the same child in 2009. But he (obviously) wasn’t. They not only released him but exonerated him of all crimes which gave – Read More-
Ok, we’re in a bit of trouble. We played Slovakia. Top player: Martin Skrtel, the tattooed Liverpool blood-sucking zombie. They have one other ‘star’ but as he wears a Mohican hair-do we can discount him. The game went pretty much according to plan, with England bossing it totally. But the plan was, probably, that goals – Read More-
I’m glad I have a beard. Even though I’m not in Afghanistan. Because over there they have an expression: bacha bareesh, which means ‘boys without beards’. Which in turn means that they’re pre-pubescent. Not that they choose to be clean-shaven, but that they simply aren’t old enough to shave yet. Maybe its to differentiate them – Read More-
just 4 days to go til the referendum. Or, as its now known by everyone outside of Westminster: the Fucking Referendum. Because we never wanted it. We never asked for it. But we have it. Due to a momentary Farage-panic by David Cameron. And everyone is now asking “how divisive will this be for the – Read More-
Coming home tonight. Bummer. Leaving the peace, quiet, sunshine and delightfulness of blue-skyed, beautiful Mykonos for… for… for frikkin’ Gatwick. Asshole of the world. But there ya go. And although ‘London’s’ least favourite airport may be the asshole of the world, its not the only contender for the prize. Oh no. There are soooooooo many – Read More-
Went down to the beach bar to watch the football yesterday. Biggest day in English football since… the last biggest day in English football. As we never really win anything, every match becomes its own ‘biggest’ thing by default. Though safe to say it probably was Wales’s biggest day in football for over half a – Read More-
I’m sixty. Holy shit. How does that even happen? Seemingly impossible and yet… and yet… one day you’re a young Turk (trying to get into Europe; eating kebabs, slaughtering Kurds…) and the next you get a message from the government offering you all kinds of benefits as befits someone your age. SOMEONE YOUR AGE!!!! Gotta – Read More-
Ok, so Brexit is winning. Should the polls be believed. And can we believe them? After the last general election when they all got it tragically, diabolically wrong? No, of course we can’t, they’re all tossers. Mainly because people lie when polled. And as the polls are used by all parties before any election to – Read More-