The day they invented ‘sharing plates’ in trendy restaurants was the day I started looking for anorexics to go and eat with. I don’t wanna ‘share’, get’cher own fuckin’ dinner, cos if you touch mine I WILL KILL YOU. Which is really not a Nobu kind of sentiment. Its not cool to contemplate murder where – Read More-
The drive back from the Ramon took precisely the expected 2 hours of easy-peasy freeway, straight road experience. And the rental-car-panic was resolved when I realised that the exhaust/sump/axle was not overheating to the point of explosion but that I’d inadvertently pressed the ‘heated seat’ thing. And the last thing you need in 35 degrees – Read More-
You have to be philosophical about things. Especially here in the Holy Land. Even unbelievers like me can’t fail but to feel a holy presence in every shwarma you eat, every iced coffee you drink, every dollop of hummous that falls on your new t-shirt. God is everywhere. and He was a chef. Didn’t you – Read More-
Its horrible when your heroes let you down. When your favourite actor turns out to be a drug-crazed serial child-molester, when your favourite footballer is arrested for rape, when your favourite mp turns out to be an Arsenal fan. Or when your favourite company turns out to be just like all the others. For years – Read More-
There’s confusion and there’s confusion. And then there’s the mysterious case of the gay bishop. Who is ‘celibate’ anyway. So if he’s celibate, what possible difference does it make to anyone which form of sexual activity he chooses to abstain from? Its like a teetotaller saying gin is preferable to whisky. Its fucking irrelevant. In – Read More-
I’m what’s known as ‘good with faces’. Which is different from having a ‘good face’, which I fortunately do, but means I recognise people. And I do. Can’t always put a name immediately to the face, but faces I just know. My dad, bless him, is the same. He bumps into people he hasn’t seen – Read More-
Sharon Stone famously said it took her 19 years to become an ‘overnight success’. A parallel, one must feel, to events on the final day of the football transfer window, yesterday. Moussa Sissoko, the (ex-)Newcastle midfielder arrives at Spurs so late that the trains had stopped running and he had to take an Uber. The – Read More-
Getting angry with tax avoiding companies is only natural. Its part of growing up. So when Starbucks are shown for the exploitative tax dodgers that they are, a lot of people boycotted them. Talking with their feet. Its what we do. It was no loss to me, I’d avoided them for years because their coffee’s – Read More-
My life changed in 1974. Blazing Saddles came out. And hit the screens with a bang, a crash and an oy-vey! No-one had ever seen anything like it before. Ok, I’d never seen anything like it before. The world learned of Mel Brooks. And of the redefinition of irreverence. Blazing Saddles attacked every stereotype in – Read More-
I’m not ready for the football season yet. Unfortunately, it would appear, neither are Spurs. We’re stuck in ‘1-goal hell’. We score one goal per game. That’s it. If we’re playing a really shit team, like poor Palace, then its enough to win. If the team are a little better than that, like, say Everton, – Read More-