Well, not so much ‘life on hold’ as ‘blog on hold’. I’ve just run out of things to say. There’s nothing interesting happening in the world. No-one’s died for 4 days now. Syria’s at peace. The refugee crisis is over. The feminists are happy now. The anti-feminists have been told by the feminists that they’re – Read More-
I was just wondering whether there was, at Emirates Stadium yesterday, a more unpopular man anywhere in the world than Cesc Fabregas? Arsenal fans hate him because he left them. Chelsea fans hate him because they think him at least partly responsible for the Morinho fiasco earlier in the term. So I make that 60,072 – Read More-
Sometimes we overthink stuff. In fact, when it comes to football, we always overthink, overanalyse, over everything. Manchester United haven’t scored a first half goal in their last 11 home games. And that hasn’t happened since… ever. Or, since before they started counting every kick, every tackle, every stumble, every everything. We know how many – Read More-
I like to think I cover the entire political spectrum in my personal life. I’m a socialist. Always have been, always will be. So I vote conservative. My values are truly, always, only liberal (small ‘l’) but could never ever vote Liberal (big ‘L’) because they’re hapless tossers and useless anti-semites. I’m a dictator at – Read More-
Have you ever bought any Polonium-210? Do they have it in Sainsburys? Will Ocado deliver it? Amazon, maybe?? No. Generally radioactive substances are not in common circulation. For fairly obvious reasons. And, like all radioactive stuff, they don’t exactly grow on trees. They have to be made. Created in labs. Polonium can in fact be – Read More-
Tina Fey had the easiest job in the world. Satirising Sarah Palin. Because Sarah Palin says the most ridiculous things, all Tina has to do to get loads of laughs is just repeat them. Sarah did all the work, back when she was running to be vice-president to John McCain in 2008, creating the easiest – Read More-
What do you do in your spare time? Do you have any spare time? Because there’s a lovely picture in the paper of Arsenal player, Jack Wilshere, doing visits at Great Ormond Street Children’s Hospital. Ahhhh. But Jack has lots of spare time. Nothing but spare time. He’s almost retired from football now, having not – Read More-
Every time I go on holiday I return with a suntan, peeling skin on my legs, a bottle of some ‘local’ variety of rum/vodka/whisky, a sombrero (not after the Scotland trip, granted, bought a sporran, kept falling off me head) fifteen boxes of the locally grown tea/coffee/herbal shit/whatever that will never be consumed in the – Read More-
There are very few teams that Arsenal can’t beat on their day. But one of them is Stoke. On pretty much any day. So for that reason alone, I like Stoke. Not the place; I’ve been there, its horrible. But the football team. Mark Hughes’ boys. Stoke City FC. They’ve always been seen as a – Read More-
My mate Nathan knows more about movies than anyone else I know. I’m not talking about naming the third Tarantino (Jackie Brown) or who played a one-line walk-on part in The Graduate (Richard Dreyfuss), cos everyone knows dat shit. Nathan knows EVERYTHING. Who the first grip’s second assistant in Gone with the Wind was married – Read More-