Good morning Britain. As your chancellor, I’d just like to explain to you why I said some things wot may have not been strictly, 100% accurate, at the time of saying. Because the right wing press seem to think that my friend, Kier, and me, have been somewhat ‘economical’ with the truth in our pre-budget – Read More-
If there has ever been a worse week for any football fans anywhere in the (un)civilised world, I’d like to hear about it. I won’t necessarily sympathise, we don’t do that, we laugh and gloat, but I’d like to hear anyway. It started last Sunday at the Emirates where arch enemies, local rivals, most hated – Read More-
Joey is in his ‘men in uniform’ phase. Not like when his mother was, that was different. Really different. This is the innocent’s obsession with uniforms which he wants to then wear. And, fortunately, Amazon, as in all walks of life, can provide. So some days he can be a soldier, others, a US ‘cop’, – Read More-
They went for ‘London’. In the budget. If you live outside the M25 you have no idea what a “2 million pound home!!” looks like. You think its a mansion, in 45 acres of grazing land with a lake, horses and… well, lots of mud and stuff. But its not. Its a little house in – Read More-
(Fucking) Nigel Farage is a RACIST!!! Oh no. I won’t be voting for him then. There again, I had no intention of voting for him before. But Farage, alleg-ed-ly, abused a Jewish person and was nasty to Indians. Allegations which, firstly if true, and secondly, if they occurred in a restaurant in Mayfair last week, – Read More-
I’m sure you all remember the golden rule: ‘all statistics is bollocks’. I have it tattooed on my right arm, just in case I’m ever tempted to think, “ooooh, 95% of people under 52 whose names begin with Q find tying their shoelaces difficult; that’s amazing”, it reminds me to ignore it. Someone pays for – Read More-
Well yesterday was the outdoor tennis player’s nightmare. Rain. More rain. Then more rain. The worst of all worst days. When it never even got properly light. I don’t suffer from SADS, but on days like that, I wish I did. Glad it’s over. So I can enjoy today. Which may be a bit limited… – Read More-
What a brilliant deal! Struck up by Donald Trump. The great peacemaker. A man so keen on acquiring the Nobel peace prize next year, that he’d sell his own mother if she gets invaded by rampaging Cossacks! And the tragedy of that metaphor is indicative of the great unfairness, the moral disgrace and the complicity – Read More-
We’re in the final countdown for the THE BUDGET!!!! Not just any old budget but a MASSIVE one with block capitals and exclamation marks. Because never before have a government, however incompetent they may have appeared at the time, spent so much time, effort and energy on dithering around speculating on every single facet of – Read More-
It’s snowing outside my window. Remember snow? That white stuff we used to get at Christmas when Bing Crosby was still alive? Well, its mid-November, following the ‘mildest’ autumn in the entire history of mild autumnal things’, when just last week we were sunbathing on Tower Bridge and diving into the River to cool off – Read More-