I’m taking down all my posters from the bedroom wall. The 55 year-old one of 20 year-old Olivia Newton-John with flick-up hair, Charlie’s Angels, with more flick-up hair (I like flick-up hair), Kylie Minogue in hot-pants, Gal Gadot in Wonderwoman and the Wonderbra ad. All coming down. Mel doesn’t mind, long as it doesn’t leave – Read More-
We all hate Alexa, right? She sits there in the corner, as if she’s minding her own business. And we think her ‘business’ is to play us the radio channel of our choice, the album which springs to mind, a weather report that will be fucking awful. Whereas her actual ‘business’ is spying for Beijing. – Read More-
There’s a football tournament on. Don’t know if you caught that. Started last night. In Germany. Which makes all the metaphorical talk of ‘Munich being invaded by a Scottish army’ a bit… insensitive? Or maybe I’m just being too soft. Too historical. Anyway, there’s football in the middle of the summer and that’s something we – Read More-
I was eagerly awaiting the Green Party manifesto. I’m desperate to know how they’re going to save the planet. Or, at least, save the borough of Barnet. And yet I’m a little confused. To get their ‘manifesto’, they need to meet up. Traveling from across the country to a meeting place in, say, Stony Stratford, – Read More-
I was asked to write a full report on the island of Sicily. Because even though I’ve written about nothing else for the last week, for some people (you know who you are), that’s not enough. No. They want to be spoon-fed the details, they want bullet points and guarantees, issued by me, with full, – Read More-
Can’t tell you how wonderful the wedding was on Sunday. So I won’t. Fuck you. You should’a made the effort. Oh, alright then, it was hot. Not as hot as it could have been because there was a bit of cloud cover, causing a searing, scalding 34 degrees to become a just mildly hot 28, – Read More-
We went out for dinner last night, place recommended to the younger daughter, who’s here too. Firstly because she has to fly somewhere every three weeks; it’s a rule, and secondly because the bride is one of her best mates. Since they were about 3. And on the menu was sardines. I love sardines. But – Read More-
Do you like Italian food? Over here, they call it ‘food’, but we know it as the finest of pastas and pizzas and beautifully grilled fishes and octopuses and tomatoes and cheeses, many of which look much better than they taste. So when you go to an ‘Italian’ in London, that’s what offered. And it’s – Read More-
They don’t get cruise ships in Corcheval. They’re banned by the French. So instead, they have Russians. It happened about 25 years ago when a gorgeous little Alpine town, famous for its Croisette, morphed into Rodeo Drive up the Mountains. The gorgeous little boulangeries and boutiques were out-priced by the incoming droves of Tom Ford – Read More-
We done Mount Etna. Shouldn’t have bothered, you can see it much more clearly from breakfast here in Taormina. But it’s gotta be done. You approach from the south and for miles and miles there’s just massive piles of black, volcanic rock. All spewed down in various, past spewages from Etna. Your first thought is: – Read More-