I found a new pain. Just when I thought I’d logged virtually every muscle, tendon, ligament, ganglion and bone in my body as ‘sometimes painful’, I found a new one. My ‘Achilles’. That horrible little tendon which attaches your calf muscle to the heel of your foot. Possibly both feet. Never bothered me in my – Read More-
A geezer broke the skiing speed record. He traveled at 155 MILES per hour. None of yer rotten, keeelo-meters, no, proper miles. I reckon that’s fucking easy. But that’s because I’m fucking stupid. If you’ve traveled in a car at 120, 130, 140, it gets hairy. Very hairy. Scary. Out-of-controlly. And that’s with four big – Read More-
Took this lovely pic this morning as I strolled through Embankment Gardens, the worlds best, and possibly smallest, park. And I thought: who’s the tosser in the yellow jacket ruining my photo???!!!! The only yellow thing you normally get there is tulips. Daffodils. Errrr… flowers. But not today. As I walked through, the presence of – Read More-
When is a party not a party? When Boris Johnson is there. Simple. As soon as he arrives, amid the boozing, feasting, snogging, groping, dancing, human pyramids, orgies, spirits being poured down the throats of Special Parliamentary Advisors, tied to chairs, the party is suddenly, amid all the mayhem, NO LONGER A PARTY. Even though – Read More-
‘Hands off her!!!’ is nothing to do with the police force. Not in this context anyway. Its actually plenty to do with our ‘sexist, racist, misogynist, homophobic’ police, who rape, molest and grope, apparently quite regularly, all of them, but that’s for another time. This particular use of the expression is more figurative than literal. – Read More-
After a busy morning of tennis and saving the polar bears (which is I how I now call ‘driving’, in the electric vehicle, from my elevated driving position of ‘the moral high ground’, knowing that Greta Thunberg would smile at me as I tried to run her over, enjoying the silent smugness that only the – Read More-
After a truly wonderful evening at The Blonde and The Bastard’s house (‘wonderful’ in this context means the food was great, the whisky free and their company sufficiently engaging that neither Mel nor I fell asleep into our coffee cups), we went home, electrically, changed into our dressing gowns, amazingly, and made a cup of – Read More-
Well it had to happen sometime, I s’pose. The bloody car arrived. The ‘lectric one. Having ordered it in November 2021, it just became one of ‘those things’. Santa Clause coming at Xmas, Spurs winning a trophy, new car arriving. And then, out of nowhere!!!! (Ok, we had monthly apologies telling us of components troubles, – Read More-
Gary’s coming back!!! He’s possibly forgiven? Probably restrained? Warned? Instructed?? Reprimanded? Who knows? What goes on at the Beeb, stays at the Beeb. But everyone’s favourite footballing smooth-bastard is returning to Match of the Day on Saturday night, with his full team of strikers (Shearer and Wrightey), plus a few midfielders (Danny Murphy, Jermaine Jenas), – Read More-
It all started with my shoulder. My new one ‘arrived’ and so the younger daughter came with it, like a package deal. I came home from hospital and she flew in from Berlin to ‘care’ for the ‘invalid’, who was cut and stapled back together and drugged up to his eyeballs and slinged and in – Read More-