If I’d have know that global warming was this bad, I’d have turned off my central heating boiler years ago. Got me a new wife, cos Mel would have left due to the cold, or thrown me out, due to the cold. I’d have driven petrol cars less, burned less coal, taken less flights, breathed – Read More-
Its just about da maffs. Simple. Goes like this. Your family fucking hates you, despises your wife, has no interest in your children, was glad to see the back of you and has washed its hands of any future involvement. So the question. Do you take 170 million quid or not? Whether you do or – Read More-
I actually don’t remember precisely where I was when President Kennedy was assassinated. 1963… probably in school, at age 7 I was too young to be in the snooker hall or smoking behind the bike sheds, so I’m guessin’, school. But I do remember precisely where I was when Gareth Bale scored a hat-trick against – Read More-
We need to sort out the ‘national ‘elf’. It’s in a ‘crisis’. People are dying. Unfortunately, not enough people to make the system function in any way which may be perceived as ‘efficient’, normal, cost-effective or probably even ‘viable’. We’d need to kill off approximately 20 million of the population to even make a start – Read More-
So yesterday morning found me and younger daughter in Primrose Hill. The smuggest of all of smug North London. The ponciest of the poncy, the twee-est of the twee, where you won’t find a high street name among the shops, you won’t find an oik (apart from a few Gallaghers, and they’re rich oiks) and – Read More-
I used to fight with my brother about three times a day. He pushed me to the ground. We didn’t have a dog so I couldn’t break his water bowl with my back. And I was never girly enough to wear a necklace so he couldn’t break it. But he would have. Instead he shut – Read More-
I like to tell you EVERYTHING. I have no secrets, no shame, no common sense. Almost no filters. I NEED you to know about every illness, every surgical procedure, every thought, idea, love, hate, desire, what I eat, drink, the drugs I take to keep me alive, the ones I take to make it worth – Read More-
Football happened. And we won. Incredible how happy that makes me. Because this was a victory for Spurs, thus for me, for Antonio Conte, our money-chasing super-manager who threatens to leave every time we lose, for Harry Kane, because he’s special in a very special way, for Sonny because he’s wonderful, for all the people – Read More-
Last night, an inauspicious Tuesday in January, was elevated, hopefully temporarily, to its new status of ‘the best day of my life!!!!’ Because this is what it has come to. For me. And possibly many other Spurs fans. Arsenal didn’t even have to lose to have me leaping around the lounge in joy and excitement – Read More-
Well, Pele died over a week ago, and even with Spurs playing on Sunday, there’s still no contestants emerging to challenge for his ‘best player ever’ title. But scanning the papers I’d missed whilst away, I came across the Times’ obit supplement. Which is brilliant. Ok, they’ve had a long time to prepare it, he – Read More-