Andy's Glasses

So Spurs are top of the league, and it feels… fabulous!
Ok, so ‘technically’, Liverpool occupy that space, just for the moment, until the Burnley tosser who gave away a penalty in the 95th minute of the game, is done for aiding far Eastern betting syndicates and Liverpool get docked 27 points as a consequence. And yes, I know that Arsenal are above us, on a goal difference of ONE, so that really doesn’t count for much at all. Bournemouth, you may say, have the same points as us and Arsenal, but we all know that can’t last.

So Spurs are top!!!

And deservedly so after dispatching West Ham in such style on Saturday evening. It was wonderful. If there’s one thing better than watching your team win, and I write this as a completely impartial neutral, its watching your team beat TOTAL SCUM WHO YOU FUCKING HATE!!!!

The first half was actually quite balanced. Then West Ham showed why they’ve spent the last 2 seasons narrowly avoiding the relegation they so richly deserve, and gave in to sheer class. Pap Sarr’s goal was wonderful. ‘Always watch out for short geezers at the far post’ is a maxim West Ham missed in training. They don’t guard their posts at all. Its too ‘1967’ for them. So having conceded a goal they thought the best way to win would be to have a man sent off. Which they did as Soucek flew in, feet off the ground, aiming at the shins of the nearest Brazilian. The second goal was simply divine. Romero’s totally beautiful 65 yard pass right onto Bergvall’s head. And our Swedish teen completed things brilliantly. Mickey Van der Ven finished things off for our 3rd. Job done. Take a long shower to wash ‘the London Stadium’ off your skin.

So will Graham Potter be the first manager of the season to ‘go’? His record, particularly at home, is disastrous. Though he does have a team of losers, now we’ve relieved him of Kudus, their only decent player. Or will that honour go to Ruben Amorim, who carefully guided Manchester United to a classy and elegant 3-nil defeat at Man City? Well, without the class and elegance. Amorim maintains that ‘he will not change his tactics, even if it costs him his job’. Obviously because its… errrr… working so well? Achieved great results so far?? I’m sure Jim Ratcliff will remain patient and committed. Hmmm.

Chelsea, the scumbag’s scumbags, conceded a fabulously late goal at Brentford to keep them from overtaking Spurs. And no-one was unhappy about that.

All in all; a wonderful weekend of football was enjoyed by all. Of my family.

Happy Monday

A xxxx

Today we had the ‘stone-setting’ for my dear, departed brother. That’s when you put half a ton of granite on top of the grave to prevent ghosts. They say a few prayers, which I’m sure are very meaningful but I’m not big on praying, in case you were in any doubts. Then they let you speak. My lovely sister-in-law held it together… just, for some lovely and very heart-felt words which reduced people to tears, then I had a go before everyone put the tissues away. Whilst preventing my ‘helper’, Joey, from dismantling the lectern. So I thought, as is my nature, that I’d ‘share’.

Sad but Happy Sunday

Xxxx

There are people in this world who make a lot of noise, who create a lot of fuss and chaos, but get very little done. That was my role in the family dynamic, growing up.
Then there are those who are more quiet, more considered, less annoying, who can pretty much get anything and everything done.

Rich loved birds. I’d send him a photo from some distant country and he’d message back within seconds with the name, habitat, breeding patterns. I was happy with ‘the yellow one with the funny beak’, he insisted on proper names. He’d even identify them from recordings of their song. Even last week, in Canada, we sat looking at ‘white, swoopy ones’ and I thought, they probably have a name. But I’ll never know it now. And it’s those moments, those, ‘just ask Rich’ moments, which are instantaneously quite painful, and then mellow into the wonderful memories we have of my lovely brother. Of Di’s lovely, true-partner.

Tommy Robinson is at this very moment, marching through London in the ‘name of free speech’. A phrase which has now become an euphemism for ‘slagging someone off with impunity or inciting a riot’. Or more precisely, slagging someone off who I really hate, or inciting a riot against a group I disapprove of. That’s ’freedom of speech’. Something which is now the exclusive domain of ‘my side’. If ‘they’ do it, it’s ‘hate speech’, ‘incitement to violence’ and racism. All of which happen to be illegal. Even if you’re speaking them freely. Because ‘free speech’ must have its limits. And that’s where the problem lies. Where we draw the lines.

Tommy and his gang have chosen to drape themselves in flags. Both Union flags and Cross of St George, English flags. Both of which have been previously ‘hi-jacked’ by far right organisations and thus manage to ‘offend’ those on the left and those of migrant origins, to the extent that Councils are now almost on the verge of banning the Cross of St George in certain circumstances. Which is odd when you see how many Palestinian flags are flown over the capital and on several council office buildings. It’s also tragic that there are people who have chosen to live here and yet remain unforgiving of events which happened hundreds of years ago during ‘the Empire’ to the extent that a mere sighting our nation’s flag gives them mental health issues, for which that very same nation will give them payments every week.

I don’t like Tommy Robinson. He’s a thug. He may ‘support Israel’ but I simply don’t trust him. In his previous incarnations he’s headed up many organisations with antisemitic tendencies. He now flies the Star of David flag for the sole purpose of upsetting Muslims, who he really hates.

We have always ‘United behind the flag’, going back to the Romans who followed theirs into battle. Because flags unite people. Make you feel part of the gang. It’s the same at football. You wear your flag on your shirt and it’s wonderfully inclusive.

As long as you’re part of that gang. If you’re not, flags and emblems are wonderfully exclusive. From all those who are part of a different gang. Who probably hate your one.

So we have national flags. We have football flags. And in a less ‘wavey’ way, we have political flags. Which are becoming more and more divisive, to the extent that Charlie Kirk was murdered for holding up his MAGA flag. Its politics. Agree or disagree with him, Charlie loved a debate. He wasn’t Trump, both incapable of formulating a coherent argument and shouting down anything he doesn’t like. The irony being that Tyler Robinson (no relation), who shot Charlie, was a big MAGA fan too. Which in no way excuses the Democrats who celebrated his death.

It’s a world wide problem. Go to Canada and every house flies their flag. In protest against Trump’s nonsense about it becoming the 51st state.

We all love a flag. Mine is white all over.

Happy Saturday

A xxxx

They murdered Charlie Kirk. And I use the pronoun ‘they’ under advisement. Not because there were many of them, but because it has become a bit of a ‘trans’ issue. And I don’t want to be sued by some flaccid ladyboy on his way to the electric chair. I’m too careful for that.

The first photos which have emerged of the ‘possible killer’ look like ‘it’ could be a boy. Possibly. But possibly not. All in black, black cap, who knows. What we do know is that ‘they’ are a pretty good shot. Assuming they wanted to kill Charlie Kirk. If they were aiming at a deer in the Utah woods half a mile in the other direction, then it was a shit shot. But you kind’a feel that Charlie was the intended target. Not least because murder weapon contained bullets with ‘trans messages and statements’ scrawled on them. Small messages, I’m guessing. And Charlie was the ‘darling’ of the anti-trans movement. He was a Trump boy through and through. Trump’s advocate for the nation’s youth. Who won’t listen to Donald because to them, he’s irrelevant.

To shoot someone dead from 200 yards, according to American, mainly Republican, commentators, who know of such things, in ‘easy conditions’; low wind, clear air… does not require The American Sniper. Anyone can do it. Well, anyone with a fairly high powered rifle, the right ammo and a particularly murderous mindset. Democrats generally aren’t capable of such a shot as they don’t own guns. Unless…

Unless they’re ‘trans-democrats’. Probably a double meaning. Transitioning from one gender to another AND from Republican (hence all the guns) to Democrat. Its the only explanation.

I’ll admit, I was no big fan of Charlie. Not the trans stuff, I’ve become immune to it after our years of suffering over here. Let people be trans, but don’t expect to change the whole fucking world to accommodate them. And their often ridiculous sensitivities to words and phrases. But Charlie had lots of other Trumpian views of a more hard-rightish nature. But he can say what he likes.

And you’d expect politicians to all empathise with his untimely murder. They all stand up in vast crowds and express views which many don’t agree with. Yet when the House of Representatives called for a minute’s silent prayer for Charlie Kirk, the Democrats heckled, jeered and basically refused. Politics remains ultimately divisive even in the face of such a tragedy.

What a bunch of heartless, ignorant muthafuckas.

Happy Friday

A xxxx

You came and you gave without taking…

Another day, another song. And Barry Manilow was a keen observer of the labour politics of the future with his rather telling song all those years ago.

I always like Peter Mandelson. He was one of the good guys. Blair’s major strategist and the world’s first ‘spin doctor’ as he never let the truth get in the way of a good message. He was always just more clever than everyone else around him. Including Tony Blair. In fact, especially Tony Blair. And, like Nigel Farage, I admire sheer brilliance when it comes with a hard, no-nonsense edge to it, regardless of the politics which may be horribly attached to it. That’s another matter.

So ‘Mandy’ eventually became a ‘Dame’, when ennobled by Gordon Brown, so he could return to government, having effectively been sacked for a few dodgy deals involving undeclared loans which, coming from someone who was under investigation by the department Mandy ran, could, to some very cynical eyes, appear almost bribe-ish. And then using his clout to get his cleaner a UK passport was a push too far.

I liked his appointment as ambassador to the US because he’s someone who would never be ‘pushed around’, even by Trump. He’s way too clever for the Orange Dunce. Who actually always appeared to be rather fond of Mandy, left-wing history notwithstanding.

But I’d forgotten, or never realised, that the two men were ‘connected’. By their shared guilt by association with Jeffrey Epstein. The dead paedophile. But being dead doesn’t protect those who had historical affiliation. As Mandelson found out today when Starmer sacked him. And as Trump is spending an inordinate amount of time denying.

And I can so see how Trump would have been drawn to a known sex offender who flaunted his crimes openly. It would have appealed to Trump’s ‘grab ‘em by the pussy’ ethos.

But Mandy is gay. Openly, happily, married-ly gay. And would not share Epstein’s predilection for little girls. Nor be party to… the parties. So I can only imagine. Because we’ll never know. Yet remain free to speculate like fuck.

And my view is: Starmer threw Mandy under a bus to avoid being seen as ‘weak’ and ‘slow to react’, as he normally is viewed. His party are in disarray, his personal rankings are below those of Fred West and there are rumours he won’t last another year. He doesn’t know how to handle his MPs about Gaza, nor Ukraine, the boats keep coming, the economy’s gone to shit. So let’s sack Peter Mandelson and see if it improves my standing.

Well, Kier, its doesn’t. You got rid of one of the… of the only decent person in your entire party structure. Tosser.

Happy Thursday

A xxxx

That’s a line from ‘Zombie’ by the Cranberries. Totally irrelevant but when I thought ‘bombs’, that line came to mind. Great track. Anyway…

Yesterday was a big day for bombs and rockets.

Poland shot down a couple of Russian drones destined for Ukraine. Ok, it won’t dent Putin’s massive arsenal (no relation) too much, but for him to fly his planes over Poland is an act of intentional provocation to all of NATO, to which Poland belongs. Maybe the drones got lost. Considering that Russia has 1500 miles of border with Ukraine over which to send its weapons of mass destruction, Poland is not exactly a ‘short cut’.

And then there’s Qatar. Ooooohhhh, Qatar.

After October 7th (2023), Israel swore to avenge the murder of 1200 of its citizens and the kidnapping of 500 others. On those who perpetrated those horrendous atrocities. Which was Hamas. Not essentially for ‘revenge’, but to ensure it couldn’t happen again, by an organisation sworn to the Genocide (correct use of that word, something you don’t see very often) of Israelis and Jews. Its written in their charter. And over the past 2 years they’ve been rooting out those underground-dwelling rats and, as you do with all pests and rodents, exterminating them. And their ‘colleagues’ in Hezbollah. One of whom was killed in Tehran. A ‘sovereign state’, but one everyone hates, so no-one made much fuss. Instead they just admired the quality of the kill. Sending a missile 1000 miles which killed just one man.

And yesterday they tried to kill 2 senior Hamas dudes who, like all senior Hamas dudes, live in Doha. Where their ‘head office’ is. “But they were there for peace talks discussing the ceasefire!!!”, everyone shouted. Those responsible for mass murder can discuss what they fucking want, they still have serious blood on their hands.

“Its the invasion of a sovereign state!!!”, they yelled, “an ally!!!” Oh, really? Even if they were I’d never forgive them for the World Cup. But the act has been universally, internationally, condemned. Even Donald Trump had sort of bad words about it. Though for him to have not known in advance is simply impossible.

Eylon Levy made a stunning comment. ‘When Americans invaded (the sovereign state of) Pakistan, to kill Osama bin Laden, no-one questioned their actions. Furthermore they condemned the Pakistanis for harbouring a criminal murderer.’ Qatar has been the proxy ‘home’ of Hamas for over 10 years. They are widely regarded as mass funders of terrorism, world cup or not.

Okay, I appreciate that on initial viewing, the attack yesterday doesn’t play that well on the international stage of public opinion. But I think Israel has just accepted that if whatever it does is viewed through a different lens to the actions of any other nation, then fuck it, just do what you think is right.

All we are saying is give peace a chance.

If only.

Happy Wednesday

A xxxx

Here’s a funny thing. An estimated (I tried to count, but they kept moving around) 70,000 people attended the march yesterday. Including Richard Tice, obviously, Michael Gove, for the Tories, and from the government… errrrr… well, unless you count one parliamentary researcher for a back bencher specialising in the environment, no-one. Which is a little disgraceful for a government who’s alleged mission was to ‘stop the antisemitism’, this could be seen as a pretty good way to strengthen that message. They were busy. All of them. Trying to shore up their party’s failing credibility. Not necessarily successfully, but there ya go.

Odder still was that there was absolutely no mention of the march on the BBC news last night. Not even a snippet on the London News. Nuffink. Didn’t happen. Not important. We should have sat around claiming allegiance to the IRA or North Korea, maybe smash a few windows or burn a couple of cars, otherwise the march was of no interest to ‘the nation’ whatsoever. The BBC is ‘impartial’ according to its charter and agreement with the government who allow it to enforce the ‘license’. So they’ll discuss Huw Edwards or Gary Lineker ‘impartially’ and in the third person, but 70,000 Jews banging on their own front door calling them shameful is not newsworthy or relevant. Even most of the daily newspapers carried scant or no mention.

We didn’t march for glory. We marched for fame. And money. And the wonderful photo opportunities it presented. Like today’s pic.

But before you get exited about how Reform might be our saviours, this was an interesting snippet from the recent poll on antisemitism:

Among party voters, 10% of Reform voters do not believe Jewish people are just as loyal to Britain as other British people, and 24% of them – almost a quarter – believe that Jewish people chase money more than other people do. These are higher figures than for voters of any other major party.

Thus the old tropes exist within a party which, for all Nigel Farage’s good-blokiness and for all Richard Tice’s undoubted charm, has its roots, and a lot of its followers, in the hard right of our political spectrum. Yes, they have a big ‘thing’ about Muslims, but they haven’t forgotten their ‘first love’. Not completely.

Kier Starmer has finally condescended to meet with the Israeli president this evening, after days of deliberation. According to a lot of his party, the art of diplomacy, of trying to achieve peaceful ends by talking to all sides, doesn’t apply to Israel. They’d willingly enter discourse with Hamas, but not with an Israeli!!! To even enter into a chat over coffee is unforgivable.

Happy Monday

A xxxx

I’ve always envied the ‘Orange Order’ in Belfast. Because they have… Marching Season!!! Like their own season, solely to march down the streets wearing bowler hats and orange sashes, just to upset, annoy and provoke the Catholics. Well, there’s probably some deeper meaning but it’s mainly to provoke the Catholics. And who can blame them? It’s almost as if the blossoms have all dropped, the geese have flown, the Marchers can come out.

Jews don’t get a season. We don’t deserve one. We just get a day now and then for our marches. Not to provoke the Catholics, specifically, but to protest against antisemitism. Today was that day. And in the glorious sunshine, we donned our flags, grabbed a placard and… errrr… marched.

Well, not at first. First you have to bump into 34 people you haven’t seen for absolutely aaaaaaaages, darling, and show them pictures of your grandchildren. Though mine then arrived and spoiled that pleasure completely. Then you have to wait for the ‘start’ of the march, because the Chief Rabbi is there along with… Richard Tice?? Yes, an odd little duo. They weren’t actually together, even Mr Tice can’t get within 20 yards of the Reb because of his security. Normal people can, but no-one connected to the Reform Party. Nice of him to drop by anyway, because supporting Jews is not a vote-winner. And as the number 2 person in ‘the next governing party’, he’ll know that he may have gained the admiration of our nation’s 250,000 Jews, but he instantly lost the votes of our 4million Muslims. You do da maffs.

People came from far and wide. Some as far as Edgware, just to come and march. There were people in wheelchairs. And I had to question them as to whether ‘rolling’ should be including in the term ‘marching’? I know it seems pedantic, but what would they do in Belfast?

We marched to the BBC and sang horrible songs to them. Were they listening in there? Doubtful, but we’ll find out later in their news reports. If they say: “this bunch of Jews came here today and sang ‘shame on YOU, BBC’ and so we’re repositioning our stance on the horrible way we’ve been reporting from Gaza, condemning Israel for things they haven’t done. I’m so glad those 15,000 passed by and showed us the errors of our ways”.

But the fact of the matter is; antisemitism is not just ‘here’, because it’s always ‘here’. It’s just that now it’s coming to the surface again. I understand that people feel terrible about the horrors in Gaza. But attacking bearded men in black hats walking the streets of Hackney will not save even one starving child. Yet the ‘hate’ has spread from hating Israel to hating all Jews. According to a report today, 1 in 5 Brittons is antisemitic. I would say that is a vast understatement. Those 1 in 5 would all, like Jeremy Corbyn, maintain that they ‘have no problem with Jewish people, I have Jewish friends!!!’, but the answers to the survey questions would have told a different story.

I’m not a paranoid person, I’m the opposite: stupidly complacent and naive with a strong belief that ‘humanity is wonderful’. But I hear all the time, as we sit in our lovely comfortable homes, people who say: “is this what Germany looked like in 1932?”

Just because you’re paranoid doesn’t mean they’re not out to get you.

So we marched. A march of love and peace and enjoyment. And hope.

Happy Marching Sunday

A xxxx

We are the resig-nation. Nowhere does it better. So in the last few days we, as that nation, have suffered not one but TWO resignations of immense importance and consequence.

Daniel Levy resigned as the Chairman of Tottenham Hotspur football club, which he has run since 2001. As fans we don’t really have much to do with our chairman. He never phones us, invites us onto WhatsApp groups or comes over for Friday night dinners. And thus the relationship becomes somewhat strained in times of… anything less than perfection. Let’s face it; most of us have no idea what the chairman even does. Yet, like almost everyone else in the structure of the team, he gets grudging praise if everything goes well and heaps of abuse the rest of the time. Most of the time. And if 24 hours is the famous ‘long time in politics’, that reduces to just 90 minutes in the world of football. (Plus stoppage time). There have been calls for Daniel Levy’s head since about 2002. You never go to White Hart Lane without some dickhead waving a “Levy Out!!” banner. Yet during his tenure we’ve evolved massively, if not entirely consistently. We’ve built a magnificent training facility and what is the World’s best stadium. We’re regulars in the Champions League. Ok, one or two managers may have passed along with rather alarming speed, but generally, to achieve such massive investment in players and club infrastructure without plunging the club into immense debt is in itself testament to his brilliant stewardship and acumen. You simply know that the ultimate decisions come from our owner, Joe Lewis, who holds the purse strings all the way from the Bahamas. Yet Levy gets the blame every time we don’t sign Lionel Messi or Pele because he is the face of the club’s ownership structure. But no more. This ‘resignation’ is grossly unfair and unappreciative of this exceptionally modest ‘Mr Behind the Scenes’.

The other resignation is less important.

Angela Raynor, the ultimate sex symbol for brainless trade union drunkards and tattooed Corbynite fuckwits, is no longer our deputy prime minister. Stripped of her ministerial salary and the benefits package which comes with such a role, she’ll be reduced to offering cheap blow jobs on the back benches when the cameras are off. I have a lot of sympathy for Ange, the ‘working class hero’, even though I’m not sure where the £160k salary package fits with such a title. She raised herself up through the ranks after becoming a mother at 12, maybe 13, and succeeded completely in her chosen career of being a really annoyingly gobby lefty northerner. Except for the lying, cheating, tax evasion and the greatest crime of all in politics; hypocrisy.

If you’re the number 2 in a government constantly banging on about ‘financial black holes’ of 20billion quid!!!!, possibly 30billion quid!!!!, depending on the day, and creating novel ways to tax anyone who owns everything from a house to a hosepipe, oblivious to how that may fuck up the economy, you would be best advised to pay your own taxes. Particularly if you own 3 houses. And several hose pipes, no doubt.

I shall miss Daniel Levy.

Happy Saturday

A xxxx

This was posed at 2.15am because I can’t sleep. I’m still in Canada.

Let me start by saying: ‘I don’t expect sympathy’. Everything that follows is true. Except for the bits I choose to fabricate. But really, there’s very little fiction in this tale of ‘the worst travel experience, EVERRRRR!!!’

So BA cancelled our flight. Didn’t delay it, move it, displace it and certainly didn’t replace it. They just cancelled it. ‘Fly tomorrow’, they said. You know this.

What you don’t know is the sacrifice we had to make to get home yesterday morning rather than today, as BA suggested. Because when we fly ‘long haul’ we do it with our air miles and we go ‘business class’. Why? Because I feel like a princess and can click my fingers for anything I need from check-in right up to the sedan chair they use to carry business class travellers through the airport. Ok, what I like is that you don’t queue anything like as much. For that I would pay money in any circumstance (read: world’s most impatient fucker), but with BA, we don’t need to pay money, just send ‘em a few air miles and a voucher. The lounge is great, the food is fab, you sit in a little ‘pod’ thing, which fully reclines if that’s what you desire. And they bring you whisky and snacks, strippers, a shower, whatever you want. Yes, it’s all very poncey and precious, but you really look forward to the flights.

We came home on Air Canada, in… economy!!! But, like, all the way home! Oh no, the total deprivation!!! I know, right? We fly pleb class a lot, just normally not for too long and not generally on Air Canada. It wasn’t pleasant. The only reason no-one died of food poisoning was that the food was so inedible it didn’t pass your lips.

But heh; we coped. Heroically. Staggered off the flight, stooped over, aching, you know, and made it out. Jumped in the car we’d booked and…

It broke down. On the M4 motorway as we’d just passed the service station before London. WTF? When do cars ever break down?? But we managed to find one that did. The driver looked under the bonnet, did what I’d have done, which is think “yeah, I think we need someone who understands this shit” and called for another cab. But there were none available. And you can’t call an Uber from the hard shoulder of a motorway. So we walked back to the service station. Lugging our bagS (there were many) and trudging up the hard shoulder. In the (fucking) rain. Called an uber, and all was well again.

HOW MANY WAYS COULD THEY TRY TO STOP US GETTING HOME???

Happy Friday

A xxxx