Andy's Glasses

So the bastard muthafuckas of Hamas invaded Israel and murdered hundreds of people. Just people, living at home, playing with the kids, visiting grandparents, maybe working, all dead. Whatever their age, status, degree of ‘innocence’, just fucking dead. Another group picked a rock festival. Kids. Young adults. Just dancing, listening to the music, probably taking a few illicit substances, who cares, then attacked, shot, killed. Other than the few they captured and took as hostages. Or stripped naked and paraded through the streets of Gaza for everyone to spit on and shout abuse at. And STOP!!!

Were those filmed on the streets abusing an injured, scared-shitless and stripped naked young woman Palestinian civilians or Hamas operatives or at least passionate supporters? I wish they’d worn badges, then I’d know who to hate.

Because in my wonderfully simplistic mind I really want to distinguish between those in Gaza who are Hamas scum and those who are ‘just innocent people living their lives’. I want a clear distinction. So that my anger and hatred can be directed correctly. So when I hear Gaza has no water, electricity or fuel, I want to feel sorry for young families, and old and infirm in hospitals whose machinery has gone off, I want to imagine that the ‘siege’ is affecting all of Gaza, the good and the evil, just because Hamas knew exactly what would be the result of their murder spree. I want to believe that there are good Palestinians. Who probably hate Israel, that is allowed and in their case, understandable. I hate a lot of what Israel does too.

How about those dancing on the streets of London and Manchester, celebrating the massacre? Or those in Sydney marching along shouting ‘GAS THE JEWS!’, doubtful they’re Hamas but they certainly get to be lucky inclusions in my mental ‘firing squad’ scenario. `

So how can Palestinians who support Hamas claim ‘INNOCENT CIVILIANS ARE BEING KILLED’ in air strikes, when their ‘brothers’ have just killed almost a thousand ‘innocent civilians’?

The siege must continue until every hostage has been returned. That’s the logical ‘next step’. Sadly, not the conclusion, that will take a few more centuries and probably a lot more deaths, but much as I worry about the kids (its always the kids, for me, sadly not for Hamas) over there, I worry about the grannies, but my own personal morality says that’s what has to happen.

And anyone trying to ‘justify’ Saturday morning’s attack, people like Jeremy Corbyn, dickheads like so many Oxbridge professors tweeting their nonsense without any apparent understanding that killing babies is wrong; full stop, just shows such the complete moral vacuum wherever Israel is concerned.

What a fucking mess.

Happy Thursday

A xxxx

I went to the theatre AGAIN last night. Twice in a week. My yearly quota eaten up, I don’t have to go again til next July. Not that I mind the theatre (very gracious of me, I know, right?) but I find it far harder to ‘engage’ with than movies, which remain my medium of choice by some way. And a shit film wastes 12 quid each whereas shit theatre has pissed away the month’s petrol money (for those cruel and destructive people who still do such things!!!!) and half the food budget too.

But you see we’ve found a ‘source’, possibly a ‘resource’ which sells tickets cheaply. You’ve probably been using them for a decade, but I never said I was ‘switched on’. And so we returned to the Hampstead Theatre, which is of the ‘fringe’ variety, cos who wants to go into town? And you can park, walk and support the community, giving yourself a big, smug, moral pat on the back for being such a stalwart patron of the arts, even though you got the tickets through a dodgy trader for a tenner each. Though it was ‘downstairs’!!!!

The main Hampstead Theatre is… well… upstairs. And rather lovely, big but not west end massive, and quite charming. ‘Downstairs’ is none of them. Though I like it because its such an informal space. Even though, of the 2 actors, one was… A Redgrave!!! A real one. Gemma. Fucking royalteeeeee.

The play was called ‘Octopolis’ and it was a cross between a lecture in anthropology and a David Bowie retrospective. About an octopus. You know, usual kind’a play.

And I’d love to say it was ‘brilliant!!!’ and ‘heart-stopping’, but it really wasn’t. Nor was it terrible. But it was basically a philosophical debate between a professor of biological science and Dr of anthropology as to whether an octopus (called Frances) could believe in God, interspersed with some really fab David Bowie tracks when the protagonists stopped arguing/debating long enough to dance before the rowing started up again. So it was clever. Possibly a touch too technically too clever in its debate, and you learned a lot about everyone’s favourite (edible) cephalopod.

If the measure of a play’s brilliance is its ability to keep my wife and I awake, then this scored 6 out of 10. But we were awake for some of it, so it wasn’t a total disaster.

And as a once in a lifetime (I sincerely hope) offer: in light of events in Israel and particularly the ambivalence of reporting, my lovely son-in-law was inspired to ‘come out’ publicly on his LinkedIn page. And did so with such heart-felt emotion and honesty that I thought it might make a great contrast to the usual trite and juvenile sarcastic bollocks of the usual offerings. Just click here to see it. It is quite wonderful.

Happy Wednesday

A xxxx

LinkedIn premable:

The hardest thing I’ve ever written.

Jews should read it.

Non-Jews should read it.

I suppose that means all of you.

Jew & Me

This post is about Judaism. This post is about Israel.

Not suitable for LinkedIn?

I thought I was meant to bring my ‘whole self’ to work.

They are a part of me. Not by choice. By birth and by belief.

***

Almost 20 years in the workforce and it’s time to declare my past cowardice.

Only when I know and trust a colleague – and there’s a need to mention it – have I let the J word slip out. I typically do it softly, in case others hear.

Today is about correcting that.

Forced not by courage but by duty to a small community around the world that has been rocked to its core.

Brought on by the greatest loss of Jewish life in a day since the Holocaust.

***

So the theory goes, Jews don’t count. From ‘You can’t be racist against whites’ to ‘Yes, wasn’t this weekend ghastly, but what about….?’

No what about.

No qualification.

No equivocation.

It just was. And it goes on. In firefights with terrorists on Israeli streets and in deathly depravity inside Gazan dungeons.

Sympathy for Israel at this time should not be deemed bold, risky or political. It must simply be reckoned human.

Should you take anything from my words, let it be this:
If you’re mulling whether to message your Jewish friend to see if they’re OK, send it.
If your hand is hovering over the ‘like’ button of a heart-rending post for fear of offending an unreasonable person in your network, press it.
If you disagree in a conversation with someone trying to justify the butchery of babies, rape of civilians and murder of partygoers, speak it.
***

Jews do count, to be clear.

Pretty well, too. Sadly all the way to six million.

Look at me, another Jew banging on about the Holocaust again.

For the avoidance of doubt, the greatest crime in history – with two-thirds of European Jewry wiped out – deserves repeated air time.

Blame the deniers, not me. And blame the new rise of Jew hate.

***

They say that anti-semitism is a light sleeper.

It was roused in my neighbourhood this morning, with my favourite falafel joint having its windows smashed in. From fresh, hostile chillis yesterday to fresh, hostile graffiti today. Kristallnacht this was not, but the resonance runs deep and the slope is slippery.

Such intimidation is not a new phenomenon following this weekend. But, as suffered by my local restaurant, this weekend will exacerbate the bile.

The starting point was already a depressing place. Here’s a pair of drops from a vast, polluted ocean:
Two weeks ago my football club wished Jews well over the fast on Yom Kippur – our holiest day. It was deluged with hateful abuse.
Our synagogues, kindergartens and schools require security guards. Not just now. Ever since I can remember. We Jews do our stints as volunteers providing eyes and ears alongside the professionals. Not paranoia. Necessary based on frequent threats.
We live with this daily crap.

Shouldn’t have to, but the oldest form of racism lies in the bones and mouths of many.

Always has.

***

Like numbers of you, I’ve been through family divorce, personal loss, other traumas. Still, I’ve never cried so much as recent days.

On my daughter’s bed.

On my way to the gym.

In my wife’s arms.

In front of my team.

Writing this.

The inhumanity visited on families, kids, teens, Generations X to Z, the elderly – in their homes, their playgrounds, their beds, their wheelchairs, their festivals – has not just broken the heart.

It has challenged the lifelong sanctity in my mind of Israel as a safe space for Jews.

It will recover.

But the scars will endure.

Even with salt added to open wounds by unspeakable celebrations in parts of the UK since Saturday.

***

We need to learn that being pro- one thing does not mean you must be anti- another.

Support does not have to be a zero-sum game.

Yes, there are sides to every story and people diverge in outlooks, but these atrocities were undeniably a horrific catastrophe for a people.

Mine is an appeal to:
Repel the extremes.
Reject division.
Side with humanity.
Do so and you’ll find yourself on the team with everyone that belongs.

Which is why today I’m publicly owning Jewishness before my professional network. I want to belong as the real me.

***

If this hopefully uncontroversial post – it is about love not hate – surreptitiously denies me work somewhere in future, that’s OK. Not the place for me.

Now time to don the pictured Star of David for the first time since my Bar Mitzvah as I attend the London vigil, surrounded by shaken but stirred fellow Jews.

It was a gift from my fearless late Grandma, a British Jew who cycled through Berlin in 1938.

A braver Jew than me.

Today I start pedalling to catch up.

***

PS I will keep comments on, but if it turns ugly they are going off and private messages remain welcome, because my feelings are not up for debate.

There were 4,000 people… demonstrating?… protesting… ok, vigil-ing last night on Whitehall opposite Downing Street. According to the papers. I didn’t count but didn’t seem like quite that many to me, I’d have guessed 800. Spurs Paul was there, I saw The Wolfman and I know Tory Boy was there with his mate, The Very Posh Scouser, but the rest I never counted. My error. There was also a woman waving an Iranian flag. And to be honest, I really like that. Because everyone is allowed their view. So ‘we’, the mob, had a choice: stone her to death and stick an Israeli flag in each eye; or ignore her.

When I came home Mel was screening a Pray for Israel event at a local synagogue. We opted not to go on the grounds that being so close to Yom Kippur, it would have exceeded my annual limit on pray-time. But the Chief Rabbi was there, and he gave a fabulous speech. And then, amazingly, Rishi Sunak was there too. And he came up, wearing his little head cover kippa, and looked like a barmitzvah boy. But also gave a heart-warming speech in support of Israel. “We will not just support Israel today, nor just tomorrow, but…” and in my mind the next line was “until the next election”, though what he actually said was “always!!” Very appreciated that the PM himself cancelled everything to come to Finchley.

Because people are hurting. Not just in Israel where that is sadly, literally the case, but here. We are all ‘hurting’. Is it because these are ‘my people’? I’m not sure. I’m not Israeli, I’m a card-carrying, life-long, born-and-bred Cockney scumbag. Definitely not Israeli, I just go on holidays there, fairly often. They often argue is being Jewish makes you part of a race? A religious minority? An ethnic group? What it really is is an identity. Linked by a culture. And a history filled with people who hate us and try to get rid of us, one way or another. Not for nothing is antisemitism called ‘the oldest hatred’. Which is why Israel is so important. It offers refuge and security that we all hope we’ll never ever need.

And the images of beautiful children killed by terrorists is heart-breaking. Images of other beautiful children taken hostage, along with others to a future so horrendous you simply can’t even let your mind go there, is beyond humanity. As is having street parties celebrating these events. But supporters of Hamas revere death. Or simply don’t give it consideration, no matter who is dying.

Because Saturday’s attack was not spontaneous or random, it was planned with precision and care. Which means ‘the aftermath’ was not only considered but planned as well. That being; a massive Israeli offensive into Gaza. There could be no question of that inevitability. Therefore, for Hamas’s attack, whatever the reason, the known cost was basically throwing the entire population of their own home under the proverbial bus. And why? To inflame more Palestinians, hopefully, as far as they’re concerned, their ‘mates’ in Hezbollah, who share a sponsor (Iran) if not a complete ideology, so that they might join the attack on Israel too from Lebanon and the West Bank. With Iran sitting back admiring its handiwork, watching from afar. As it does in Yemen.

I just despair.

Happy (ish) Tuesday

A xxxx

The Labour conference started yesterday. In Liverpool. And its really exiting, but like REALLY!!!! Because Labour have never, in anyone who still has the facility to remember anything’s memory, been in the situation of being ‘miles ahead’ in the opinion polls. Twenty points. ‘The election is theirs to lose!!!!’, as they say. So Labour don’t really have to do anything. In fact, best to say very little. Do nothing. Make no promises, keep the plans vague. No decisions on spending, taxing, no need to balance the books, Diane Abbot can do that after they’ve won. Basically, keep shtum!!!

Because a 20 point lead is truly massive and can’t realistically get any higher. But it can come down. Oh yes, it can come down.

The easiest way for it to significantly reduce is to increase the amount of air time given to their leader. The man who exudes such confidence he could reduce a room full of rappers to insecure wimps and nervous wrecks in 10 minutes. The deputy leader, Angela Rayner may be fucking huge, but she’s 6 foot of toxic redhead gobbiness and northern Corbynism. Speaking of whom, they asked him on his way into conference about the Hamas attack, and he immediately blamed Israel. Big fucking surprise. Leopards, spots…Though why is he there? Wasn’t he banned from the party?

Anyway, we are the best Labour party in 40 years, possibly 50, no-one can remember any viable Labour person since Tony Blair and he wasn’t really ‘Labour’ in any true sense of the party values anyway. So I’m going to say ‘anyway’ once more, its my word of the day. Anyway, This is what we’re going to say in response to ANY question: “this government has wrecked this country for the last 12 years and their leader is weak”. Rinse and repeat. And repeat and repeat… ad infinitum. Which is what it feels like when you hear any of them speak. An infinite depth into blame-ism. Because that won’t upset any prospective voters. No. It’ll just bore them to tears.

Conference will be interesting… in an exceptionally boring way. Evasion, obfuscation and blame. The holy trinity of Labour Policy. Cos if ‘we’ say anything, we might upset someone.

Meanwhile, in case you weren’t aware: WE’RE TOP OF THE LEAGUE!!! Oh. My. God!!! We enter the ‘international break’ sitting oh so pretty. All we can hope is, unlike the Labour party, we haven’t peaked and the only way is down.

I’m going to Downing Street tonight for a vigil. Don’t know if Hamas will take notice of a bunch of middle-class, middle-aged Jews in London but just feel I need to do something, however symbolic.

Happy Monday

A xxxx

It’s all a matter of perspective.

When I heard yesterday that 300 Israelis had been murdered in an attack by Hamas on the southern towns and kibbutzim, I was deeply saddened. But when I heard that 60 people had been ‘taken hostage’, I was near to tears. Just by the way, virtually all those murdered were ‘innocent civilians’. Which I only mention because such deaths are always used to portray horror of warfare or, as here, terrorist insurgence. As if, on the Putin model, soldiers don’t count. It’s the innocent civilians that pull our heartstrings. And seeing images of them being taken away; young women, children, old’uns, kidnapped by a bunch of savages, people obviously with no sense of morality, decency or the sanctity of life (its the murders and rape which gives it away), made me wonder whether they’d have been better off murdered. Of course, Hamas are ‘freedom fighters’, the euphemism always employed as a justification for atrocity. Whereas in fact they are just the lowest form of life. As are those around the world who chose to celebrate the murder of those 300 people on the streets of London and elsewhere.

So Binyamin Netenyahu declared Israel to be at war. Not with Palestine, nor Gaza, but with Hamas. And this is where the perspective comes in. Gaza is a state-within-a-state. Hamas are a terrorist organisation intent on the destruction of the state of Israel “from the river (Jordan) to the Sea (Med.)” Hamas are funded, armed and supported by Iran. Big surprise. And have ensured that their infrastructure is indistinguishable and entwined with that of ‘normal’ Palestinians who live there. Just to up the deaths of any ‘innocent civilians’ if the Israelis strike them.

This was an uncharacteristic lapse and disaster from Israel’s normally almost full proof intelligence and security services. And an incredibly well coordinated attack, on a Jewish holiday and massive political unrest around the Israeli government which has caused a ‘strike’ by army reservists.

But again, back to perspective. I’m sure many Palestinians support Hamas. But many don’t. Many just want peace which, with a terrorist organisation in control, will always be impossible to find.

And the general perspective, so widely assumed, that Israel is somehow a ‘temporary thing’, subject to future considerations. Something no-one claims about other young countries like Jordan, even Germany. Where, if they were attacked, there would be international outrage and repercussions. And nobody would try and ‘justify’ what would be just a terrorist attack on innocent people.

If there had not been decades of terrorist attacks on Israeli bus stations, schools, and bars, there would be no wall, nor the hard border between Gaza & Israel. If Wales was governed by a terrorist group intent on destroying England and initially by murdering as many ‘innocent civilians’ as it could, I think people would possibly understand the current status of Gaza under Hamas rule.

Nothing can justify such vast, pre-meditated murder.

I’m trying to enjoy being top of the league and the rugby, but this keeps interfering.

Happy Sunday

A xxxx

We’ll be watching tv, and on it will come… adverts!!! I know, who watches live tv, ffs??? but sometimes we do. And I’ll hear my wife utter a semi-silent “hmmm…” or “ooooh…” and I know that within two shakes of an Amazon delivery van, or possibly one brief visit to John Lewis, Waitrose, Robert Dyas, Boots, Iceland, Zara or Sports Direct, Harrods, Halfords, we will have one of those in our home. Same happens as she leafs through the weekend papers, ‘homes’ sections. Because whereas I’m the most cynical bastard super-sceptic in the whole world, my wife is a believer. That’s why it’s such a perfect relationship, she believes everything I say, from here to eternity, and I trust her as far as I could throw her.

And it’s also why we have rather a lot of ‘things’. Which others don’t. Gadgets. Gizmos. Holders, helpers, supports, little widgets, big widgets, things to keep shoes in good shape, bath pillows, an anti-theft car-key wallet, which got stolen, a window condensation power-vac, spacers to… er… keep certain things apart; its why I take vitamin A tablets, vitamin C ‘chewies’, will be standing in the kitchen and have my mouth sprayed with vitamin D whilst I’m singing the high note in ‘I will always love you’. Witney never had that. The only reason she could hit the note better than I can.

And it why I’m sitting here accompanied by the world’s most random drum solo. Because our tumble dryer has been efficient-ci-fied. It was using too much power, taking too long, creasing the clothes more than necessary… errrr… fading the clothes a bit? So we have some little plastic balls with little plastic spikes nobbles on, which, when added to the clothes, stop all that shit, dead!!! Takes half the time to dry, clothes are quicker, cleaner, dryer, newer!!! and only uses half the power. Maybe only a quarter. Because of the nobbles. They’re special nobbles. And all you have to do is listen to them hitting the inside of the ‘drum’ (clue’s in the name) again, and again, and again and it’s fucking LOUDDDDD!!!

Anyway, Israel is now at war, which I know because I’ve listened to the collective opinion of the ‘impartial’ world telling me how, basically, ‘they deserve it’ and then, to cap it all, Spurs have had a man sent off at Luton!!! Holy shit. Weekend’s turning into a disaster!!!

Happy Saturday

A xxxx

There is no direct Scouse translation for the phrase ‘victimless crime’. None that anyone south of Stoke could understand anyway. But the reason is; whatever happens, Liverpool FC are the victims. The word ‘victim’ now has a permanent place on the club logo, just under the Liver-bird and all new players are tattooed with the word upon signing a contract, so they can start to adapt to their new role as defined (para. 26.15) “…superstar footballer first but whinging victim even more first. It is your entitlement as a Liverpool player/victim…”

Now here’s an interesting statistic which whizzed over my Whatsapp this morning. I’m not quite sure if it’s valid or statistically accurate, but quite frankly, I couldn’t give a shit. Because most statistics are not valid, or they’re biased, or corrupted in some way to suit the person/company paying for it. But this statistic compared the ‘big 6’ clubs and how many VAR decisions have gone for or against them. Spurs are the bottom team; having 1 more decision going against them than for them. And the top team; the one who have had 12 more VAR big decisions going for them than against them, are… Liverpool. The eternal victims of everything are suddenly not quite so victimy as they’d hoped. To get more refereeing decisions go your way than Manchester United is quite incredible.

But ‘we are the victims’ of the what was unquestionably the most ludicrous VAR decision in the entire history of VAR (3 years) is how it is proposed by Jurgen Klopp and his band of moaning scousers. To such an extent that he is asking the League to replay the match entirely. Wipe that error-ridden score off the pages and start again.

Can you just imagine? We would have to replay probably every single match in which someone either lost or drew unfairly. And if those replays have controversial moments, they may need a ‘best of 3’ situation to appease the Klopps of this world. Each season would last a decade, with no breaks or holidays. Groundhog Day for the fucking Premiership. Because if you’re a losing manager, why on earth wouldn’t you be wanting the replay the match?

Fuck off Jurgen. It would be the most horrendous precedent, condemning the league to even more moaning and blaming and scape-goating than we already have to suffer. And not just from Liverpool.

What is needed is VAR (if you must have that curse upon what was previously a ‘beautiful game’) transparency. Like rugby. With everyone privy to the conversation between ref and VAR. “Is there any reason I can’t give that goal?” “Was number 14 offside”. We all hear it, we all know and it removes the kind of ambiguity which resulted in Saturday’s farce. Ask a simple question. Rather than assuming that the fuckwit in the video room is actually paying attention.

And don’t get them started on HS2! Even though it was never going to Liverpool.

Happy Thursday

A xxxx

Here’s a great idea: we’ll build a brand new railway network, specifically to provide much faster north to south of the country links but also because the existing network and tracks are all Victorian and beaten to shit by a century of abuse and neglect, bit like the Royal family. So we need to replace and might as well use the high-speed tracks and infrastructure, brilliant, just a snip at 37 bil, to run from Euston to Birmingham, Manchester, Crewe, Leeds, the Northeast and eventually, even to Scotland. Easier, faster transport to bring north and south together, seamlessly and speedily and… lots of other things-ly. We’re ‘levelling up!!!!’

That was 15 years ago. Now the price has risen to somewhere between 120 and 200 billion lots of people see it as a ‘vanity project’ when we need money to stop refugees from dying, children from stabbing each other, Ukrainians to have all the bombs they need and to have a few bob left over to provide medical treatments for the 2 million people waiting for appointments. So Rishi Sunak, never one to shy away from making changes-which-look-like-u-turns-but-aren’t-u-turns, issued a statement last week, when questioned about HS2. He said:

“Naaaaah, fuck dat, do we really want all those northerners in the capital? Thousands a day arriving at high speed. They’ll clog up the Euston Road. And no-one wants to go to Manchester, do they? I mean, we promised a link between ‘north and south’, well Birmingham’s north enough, innit? Feels like it on the train there. Then we don’t have to bother linking it up with Crewe or Leeds either; a win-win. By the time any of that might happen Scotland will have long since devolved, separated and lost its first war to the French. Let them build their own fucking trains. An’ while we’re at it, I don’t want Euston becoming South, South Manchester. So we’ll stop the trains in the middle of West London’s industrial wasteland, just over by Wormwood Scrubbs, a place so unappealing them northerners will get straight back on the next train north.

It will still be called ‘HS2’ but will now be billed as ‘the absolutely fastest way to get from Old Oak Common to Birmingham, EVER!!!’, that should win votes.

Happy Monday

A xxxx

HOLD THE FRONT PAGE! CANCEL THE TORY CONFERENCE! HAVE A CEASEFIRE IN UKRAINE! FORGET THAT SADIQ KAHN IS A TOTAL NOB!

WE NEED TO TALK ABOUT THE SPURS/LIVERPOOL GAME LAST NIGHT!!!

A match so steeped in controversy, so riddled with errors and mistakes, a game so mired in issues and technicalities that it went on for about an hour too long. Thank God, because that extra, extra time, the 96th minute of ‘full time’, not counting the added 10 minutes plus an extra 3 to the first half, is when Spurs do their best work. We save it to the end.

If I was a Liverpool fan… I’d probably be in prison, but that’s not the point here. Though even those currently serving at His Majesty’s Pleasure would be indeed royally, and understandably pissed off with the events at the Lane. And even though Liverpool fans are famous for moaning and complaining, this time they may actually have a point. Or indeed several. This may need a… PUBLIC INQUIRY!!!!

The game was going swimmingly, Liverpool, lying second in the league in the morning, were overtaken by Arsenal’s lucky, 4-nil win at Bournemouth, whilst the leaders and obviously eventual winners, Man City actually lost at Wolves, with Brighton (3rd) getting mullered by Aston Villa. And Spurs were settling into their game for 24 minutes until…

A vicious, over the ball, studs to shin tackle on Yves Bissouma by Curtis Jones saw the Liverpool man get a yellow card. And rightly so. Or wrongly so. Because whilst VAR was agonising and analysing whether the event should be upgraded to a red card, us viewers at home watched it in 37 views from 96 angles. Half of which made it look like the worst tackle since Roy Keane retired, and half of which made it look like an accidental slip. So they asked the ref to watch it. And he immediately changed his yellow to red.

Spurs were now playing against 10 men, so that’s good, right? Normally, yeah, but Liverpool are special and within a few minutes they had the ball in the net. A lovely finish from Luis Diaz, who timed his run beautifully and was onside. But the VAR obligatory check, see today’s pic, showed quite obviously that he was quite a way offside and the goal was rightly disallowed. Because we only have VAR for one thing really, the only thing that is scientifically qualifiable and not subject to individual interpretation, like a handball or a foul. For offside. Thus we have replaced a system which works fairly well allowing for refs and linesmen to make the odd mistake, with a ‘full-proof’ system where they still make major league fuck-ups, but we get to waste 20 minutes each game waiting for them to do it.

Then Spurs scored. A real, non-controversial, lovely, clean Sonny-type goal. But 10 man-Liverpool fought boldly. And on the stroke of half time Gakpo equalised for the reds. Crippling himself in the process.

Spurs couldn’t break through. They kept pleading with the VAR to give them something, anything, but no, they just kept plugging away. Until the 68th minute when Diogo Jota fouled our fab left back Udogie and got a yellow card. But he enjoyed it so much, he repeated it 2 minutes later and got his second, and thus, a compulsory expulsion from the game. Re-arrange this well-known phrase: Tosser Portuguese.

So now Spurs were playing 9 men, such a massive and obvious advantage that… they still couldn’t break the 1-1 deadlock. And time was running out. Then it did run out. Except just before, with possibly the last move of the game, Porro fired the ball into the Liverpool area and Joel Matip slammed the ball brilliantly into his own net. The perfect end to a perfect game.

So many serious questions to be answered:
Should VAR be scrapped?
Did their official ‘apology’ to Klopp and Liverpool afterwards make any fan or player any happier in even the most minimal way?
Why couldn’t Spurs capitalise playing against 9 for so long???
Did Spurs deserve to win?
Does any Spurs fan really give a shit about any of that lot, because we won the game and pocketed another 3 points? AND stayed above Arsenal.

Which made it, quite frankly, the best day of my life.

Happy Sunday

A xxxx