Amazing! The Oscar ceremony took place on Sunday night, this time they held it in Plaistow, just for a change. But it was the same old ‘Hollywood glamour’ as our favourite stars put on a collective $47million worth of clothes, begged, borrowed or stolen from designers eager to show how their clothes can lamb up the toughest old mutton. Sometimes to the point of respectability, for others, the aim is more indecency. Either way, the evening is a testament to how women can best achieve empowerment by getting their tits out. Something we are all agreed upon.

The Best Movie went to Coda.

The Best Move went to Will Smith.

The Best Actor in a drama or hissy fit, also went to Will Smith.

The Best Red-Head went to Jessica Chastain, as it should do, always. (I like Jessica Chastain).

The Best Englishman in a Suit went to Kenneth Brannagh.

The Best Direction went to ‘that way’.

And the Best use of an Exceptionally Loud Voice being cruel and heartless went to Chris Rock.

Followed by the Best Slap in a movie context, Will Smith again.

Chris Rock is a tosser, we all know that. His comment about Jada Smith’s alopecia was pretty horrible, even for a ‘shock comic’. Will Smith’s response was stupid. And his justification in his speech, basically ‘a man’s gotta do what a man’s gotta do’ and ‘protect ma fam’ly’ and ‘be a rock (no relation) and a river (??)’ was inappropriate in excess. He should have taken Rock outside and kicked the shit out of him. But live? In front of the 386 people watching live on tv who hadn’t fallen asleep? What message does it send? Whatever happened to ‘sticks and stones can shave my head but words can never hurt me’??

The award for Best Handshake by a Russian went, unfortunately, to Roman Abramovich.

Happy Tuesday

A xxxx