It’s my birthday. Today. It’s no secret, I’m (fucking!!!!) 70. I’ve lived a life that’s full; I’ve traveled each and every highway…

The best thing you can say about a 70th birthday is: I’m not dead yet. It’s just a lot closer than it was a few decades ago. Even someone as generally positive and forward-thinking as me just starts counting the years. The ‘good years’. I don’t count the ones involving excessive dribblage or incontinence, let alone losing the mental facility to be able to abuse people. So, ‘let’s look to the future’, is not as wonderful as it was, so generally you look to the past. The heady days when I was in the Boer War, landed on the moon, went out with Debby Harry, scored the winning goal for Spurs against Liverpool. Ahhh, the memories.

And if that’s not enough; yesterday was the 40th anniversary of the day I was made to get married. What’s known in my house as ‘the best day of Mel’s life’.

And to celebrate… I’m going to work. Well someone’s gotta do something round here, FFS! I should be away. On a beach. In the sun. (The nice sun, not the muggy, sweaty one we get round here). But we had to do that in half term so Lila and Joey wouldn’t have to go to prison for missing school. Kids are so selfish.

So I get on my lovely ebike and sail in through all the red lights. When people shout at me, I tell them ‘ITS MY BIRTHDAY!!!’ Like I do every day.

We’ve had lots of celebrations. Well, the holiday, that was special. Then on Sunday we went to Kew Gardens, and on the way, I treated Mel to lunch!! Ok, it was in McDonalds, but not just any old McDonalds. It was the one on the North Circular in Neasden. Next to Ikea. You can’t get more romantic than that. “Eat ANYTHING YOU WANT”, I said, “MY TREAT!!!!” Ten minutes later we’re back in the car.

So last night we went to Mel’s fave place. (Possibly my fave place too, either that or McDonalds). Place called Oka. In Marylebone. The only place in the West End you can still park easily and even legally. Fab meal, no parking ticket, all wonderful, home by 9.30. The perfect ‘date’. Saudi Arabia vs Uruguay!!! Bring it on. Or, turn it on, perhaps. For Mel.

And that’s it. Life, birthdays, everything. Don’t feel 70. Don’t know what I feel really. ‘Its only a number’. True. But its a much bigger number than it used to be.

Happy Birthday

A xxxx