So, I’m Sara, and I’m, like, 22 years old and I’m just doing my second yaar exams, history of art and culinary sciences, here at Bristol. Well, I should be, but instead, I’m spending my days in a tent in a field just outside the main uni building in a ‘Free Palestine’ protest. The union have arranged it, and I’m on the union committee, procurements section, because my dad owns a company which wholesales booze, so I’m really involved. And quite frankly, even if I wasn’t active on the union, I would definitely be on the protest, because what is happening now in Israel is total genocide of a displaced group of refugees, who’s parents were murdered by the Israelis before they were even born!!! Not sure how that works, exactly, but this Iranian guy whose name is ‘Joe’, though I’m not sure that’s his real name, has come to talk to us about these atrocities and the apartheid state in which poor Israelites, or possibly poor Palestinians, are forced to live. And now they’re murdering all the children!

So I asked mummy to get me a tent, which she did, from Harrods, so its really good and I sleep rough so I really get a feel for the suffering going on with those poor Hamas guys in the Suez Canal. This Iranian guy called ‘Joe’, told us last night, all about deprivation and suffering, and, as of last night, Deliveroo have stopped delivering to our camp. Which is this government’s way of starving out poor students just trying to make a political point! Typical of this fascist country where the rulers were all slavers, imperialists and colonisers, which is why they sympathise with the IBF in the killing of civilian children and women. So let them try! Let them take away our humanitarian aid, sent by Uber, on daddy’s credit card, direct from Gordon Ramsey and Ricky Stein, but in, like little styrofoam boxes!!! That’s roughing it!!! Excuse me just a moment, I need to chant.

“FROM THE RIVER TO THE SEA!!! PALESTINIAN WILL BE FREE!!!”

We do that every half hour, so the bastard American war-mongers know that we will return the land stolen from the Palestinians by the Jewish people who live in New York, Los Angeles, Golders Green and Hendon. Return that land to whom it belongs. Which is why Hamas was totally justified in making that statement of despair on October 7th. Because of the oppression. And the… errrrr. Anyway, we’ll hound out the terrorist genocidal bastards by shouting at any Jewish people we can find, make their lives miserable until the land from the River Nile to the Baltic Sea is returned to Hezbollah who lived there since the Romans invaded New Zealand.

Do you think this Palestinian flag clashes with pink? I wonder if they have an alternative flag, something more purple…

Happy Protesting Sunday, we shall not be moved!!!

Sara xxxx