Andy's Glasses

I think I must be a masochist. Whilst everyone else ‘just can’t watch the news any more’, I can’t get enough. Any evening without Clive Myrie is a wasted one. All my fantasies involve Sophie Raworth and Rita Chakrabarti. Possibly together. I’ve always watched the 10 o’clock news on BBC and I probably always will. Even though they’re about as unbiased as Donald Trump, as ‘balanced’ as a one-legged, one-armed Millwall fan and as ‘neutral’ as Russia. Particularly when it comes to reporting on Israel. They follow the left-leaning bias, the quote-it-first-check-it-later ethos, and generally have offended anyone who has any affiliation or connection to Israel. I’ve watched al Jazeera and it shows a lesser anti-Israel bias than our BBC.

But that’s not enough. I need more. More pain. More aggravation. More frustration and screaming at broadcast devices. So I listen to LBC. And if that’s not almost suicidal for any Zionist at the moment, I’ll even listen to James O’Brien. Who is about as pro-Israel as the Ayatollah. And he’s not just vile because he’s an anti-Semite, glaringly obvious to anyone and everyone… except him. Who maintains, just like Corbyn always does, the ‘he’s not prejudiced against anyone’, whilst shitting on anything Israeli or Jewish. But in the most horrendously quiet, considered, smug way. Gimme a shouter and screamer any day; it’s those pseudo-intellectual diatribes calmly and quietly delivered, showing wonderful compassion, which incite me to violence. I’ve broken 9 Alexas since October 7 2023.

And what I hear, in praise of the mythical ‘2-state solution’, which is wanted by neither Israel nor Hamas, but remains a fantasy of masturbatory proportions for Kier Starmer, is always the same. It’s ‘simple’. You just negotiate with the Palestinian Authorities, get rid of Hamas and divide the land. What could be easier than that?

I hear this all the time on LBC and always have the very same thought. Which is:

HOW THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU’RE GOING TO GET RID OF HAMAS???

All, even the ‘liberals’ and the very pro-Palestines, feel they have to condemn Hamas to some degree, certainly on the radio, or at least accept them as an obstacle to peace. And therefore ‘they have to go’. Ok, I’ll tell them.

Right. So for all those who have this ‘blueprint for peace’, even though its pretty much what neither side wants or would accept in a million years, here’s a newsflash:

This is what ‘getting rid of Hamas’ looks like. It’s Gaza today. They hide under hospitals, store their weapons under schools, prevent their population from moving to safe havens, and they keep moving underground, using ‘their people’ as human shields.

Though of course, if anyone thinks there’s this much easier, 10-minute, boil-in-the-pan version of ‘getting rid of Hamas’, please contact:
The IDF
Israel.

I’m sure they’d love to hear it.

Happy Saturday

A xxxx

So yesterday we had Trump, part 2. The second course. Trump against the B-team. Possibly the C-minus team. Because whereas Wednesday he was royally entertained at Windsor Castle, yesterday he was forced to spend the day at Chequers with The Dullard. Our Prime Minister. A man who obviously struggles with Donald J Trump. Everyone struggles with that man, but those gifted with a quick mind, a quicker tongue, and a degree of fortitude, can fare quite well. None of which, obviously, applies to our sterile and wooden political leader. He just looked scared of what was next and managed to get his pre-prepared answers into the right context. On migrants. On Gaza. On Mandelson. And on Epstein.

Then we saw both the best and the worst of Donald Trump, all in a few hours.

He ‘disagreed’ with Starmer about our leader’s decision to ‘recognise the state of Palestine’. I don’t mean as in “have you seen the fucking state of Palestine lately????”, but I mean as in official UN recognition that the murderous, hostage-holding, ‘GEN-O-CIDAL!!’, terrorist run shit-show, will be ‘recognised’ as the reward for all of Hamas’s fabulous humanitarian work. So Trump called Starmer a virtue-signalling, bandwagon-jumping, vote-chasing, moron-appeasing dickhead. Ok, I would have, Trump made nice.

Then did the next brilliant thing and slagged off our esteemed mayor. He’s a ‘bad person’, ‘I’ve never liked him’, and best of all ‘he’s the worst mayor in the world, and there are a few bad ones out there’. Loved that. Those few kind words from the Prez and Sadiq’s international credibility is now on ground zero. Where it should be. If not for uttering not one word during the entire week of crippling tube strikes, in HIS city, then certainly for failing to attend or mention the march against Antisemitism.

But then Trump, after all that good work, went all stupid.

The battle cry of the Republic(ans) has been ‘free speech’. ‘The First Amendment’. To the point of attacking the United Kingdom for arresting and locking up… ok, primarily right wing hate-speakers.

And then Jimmy Kimmel, darling of the Democrats, very successful late-night tv comedian, and Trump satirist, suddenly gets sacked by ABC. Followed by Trump’s people actually implying that tv channels being critical of the President may lose their licenses. Read that again and then, altogether: HOLEEEEE SHEEEEEEETTT!!!!

That’s Putin. That’s Kim Jong Un. That’s that fat fuck from Belarus. But that is not democracy. The 9th amendment to our own constitution (ok, we don’t actually have one, but if we did…), known as the ‘Monty Python clause’, states that taking the piss out of the government is absolutely essential in any decent country.

So, Fat Don. Can’t live with him, can’t live without him.

Happy Friday

A xxxx

I’m a republican. Opposed to the Royal family and other privileged aristos and all the no-good rich fuckers who should be forced to give all their wealth to the NHS so that we can afford all the wounded jihadis arriving by boat. The king should be deposed and replaced with Jeremy Corbyn so that real changes can happen. Not the wooly, windy ‘change’ that Kier Starmer (bloody fascist) keeps banging on about, but a total restructuring of the nation. And Comrade Corbyn would be the ‘Chief Executive’ of GBUK, with absolute power and for life. He could impose sharia law. A bit like Putin running the Islamic State. A good place to live. Where rules are rules and the train drivers would all live in the mansions vacated by the billionaires who’ve been ‘repossessed’. Where anyone rich, or worse still, Jewish!, would be either stripped of all their assets or forced to live in third rate hotels in Epping so the refugees could live in the comfort they deserve. This is the dream.

But meanwhile, we have King Charles. Who, yesterday, entertained ‘the enemy of the state’. Donald J., fucking Trump!!! That day cost an estimated 20 million pounds. Money which could have been better spent creating new jobs in the Transport and General Workers Union. You could employ 40 people to stand around at tube stations drinking tea and reading the newspaper for 2 years, on £250k per year for that money. On a 32 hour working week, obviously, due to the ‘mental strain’ of such an important and demanding and responsible role in society.

But instead, we pissed that money away trying to impress a great fat orange ‘child’. Who laps up attention like a 3 week old Cockapoo. We basically tarted up the entire fucking army and all the brass bands we could find, brushed every horse in the country, polished all the carriages and flew the nine remaining fighter jets the air force owns, painting the sky red, white and blue. I mean, the fuel for the planes must’a cost 500 quid. Then they sit him down and feed him!! Look at him!! Does he look hungry to you?

Trump is NOT an ally of mine. Or (therefore) of this country. He is the enemy of working people. He funds genocide by arming the ‘Israel project’, which has failed and will be ended by Comrade Corbyn on Day 1, of the new world. Which, if nothing else, would make Eurovision Song Contests much easier to manage.

So while the workers in this country, like me, are all busy, or on their allotted 5 hours of tea break or ‘wellness time’, our nation pisses away millions just to try an impress Donald Trump. So he reckons he’s brought about 20 billion dollars worth of investment in the UK with him, contracts in the digital world, but what use are they?? The last thing we need here is jobs where you need to think, FFS. We don’t want workers thinking, that’s where the problem starts.

I’m looking forward to the glorious day of the revolution.

Happy Thursday

Comrade Shmuck xxxx

Spurs played last night. Villarreal in the Champions League. Entry to which we qualified for by winning the Europa League last year. It’s the first time that winning the ‘2nd class’ cup actually rewarded you with entry to First Class the following season. But we’re in. And we won. I’m not saying we won with any degree of style or beauty, but we were gifted a quite ridiculous own goal in the 4th minute and clung on for grim death. None of which bothers me to any extent, nor does it reduce the 3 points we won for the victory.

But what about Joey?

He’s 6. A fanatical Spurs fan. Obsessed with football generally. And his initiation to European football, the first Euro match he actually attended, was the final last year in Venice.

Because Joey has ‘prior commitments’, like, er, school, and he burns up sufficient energy every day to power a small town, he needs to be in bed by 7.30 ‘for 8.00’. So he goes to bed at 7.30 and by the time he’s finished jumping out, annoying his sister, having a story, demanding another, all the usual antics, he’s out for the count by 8.

Or ‘kick off time’ as we call it for midweek European matches.

So negotiations start. Because he desperately wants to watch it on tv. The ‘normal’ settlement is that he can watch the first half, a short story, then sleep. 9 o’clock. That’s workable.

But Joey’s not really interested in ‘workable’, nor sensible, nor anything else really other than watching football with his dad. All of it.

So he calls in ACAS, phones the leader of the schoolchildren’s union and they ‘sit round a table’ for further discussions. In the end Donald Trump came to help ‘do a deal’. They thought Qatar might be the proper place for such deliberations but… Where it was decided that the plaintiff would be allowed to watch the second half, as long as he promised to be a good boy in the morning. No ‘I’M TIIIIIIRRED!!!!’, no moaning, no refusal to get dressed, no fuss at school.

Spoiler alert: Joey breaks promises. All day. Every day. All kids do. They’re just like adults in that respect. Say whatever you have to get what you want and worry about the consequences, the promises, later. Because by ‘later’ you’ll have forgotten the promises you made.

This morning, Joey refused to get out of bed. It took four lawyers, an injunction and replays of ‘the deal’ before a judge ordered him to school. And by playing the ‘then you can’t watch any more midweek games!!!!!’, threat.

Joey 1, Rest of the World 0.

Happy Wednesday

A xxxx

I’ve seen the future!! And it looks like this! (See photo). May the Lord have mercy on us. Tommy Robinson will be the minister for War (formerly ‘defence’), Elon Musk will be the ambassador in Hell and in a quite amazing coup, Kemi Badenoch defects to become Reform’s ‘Minister for White People’.

The thing is, joking aside, who the f*** is going to be running this country in a few years time?

The Tories are seemingly more and more a ‘spent force’. Their limited numbers are slowly trickling over to Reform either because they too have seen ‘the future’ and want to remain MPs in four years time, or because they’re on the ‘right’ side of their party and Reform seems just one step over.

Labour are just a total mess. Their leader is increasingly incompetent, both outside his party and within, they have no idea how to run the economy and they simply lack any credibility on the international stage, as they jump on any virtue-signalling bandwagon going and seem incapable of escaping the yoke of wokism which restrains any positive action at home. After ‘Rayner-gate’ we flowed seamlessly into Mandelson-mania. A problem which may actually be a ‘bond’ between Starmer and his new bff Trump, who arrives here today. They’re both victims of ‘Epstein fuckage’. Though in most else they hold diametrically opposing views.

The Reform Party is Nigel Farage. He elevates ‘populism’ to new levels. Because he’s so fucking clever. Always having a massive appeal to the far-ish right all the way to the real far right, his stance on the ‘small boats’, and who is arriving on them, greatly endears him to ‘middle England’, right and left, who all fear for their communities, have a xenophobic fear of those on the boats and resent the preferential treatment the migrants are given whilst they themselves can’t get on housing lists or hospital appointments. So in the same way Nigel orchestrated Brexit, conning the middle of the nation that such a move would leave ‘Britain for the British’ a bit more, he’ll hit that same nerve once more, whilst the (previously?) major parties are lying about taxes, agonising over zero carbon and managing to avoid what most people really want to hear.

Farage will blow the boats out of the sea. Literally. Gunships. Cannons. He’ll tow them over to Libya on barges. Deport them to an island off Papua New Guinea. And the thing is; he will.

And thus our existing political arena is totally dominated, among the main parties, as to how they can get one over on Reform. Or, more likely, how they can avoid getting swept into total irrelevance by Reform.

Spain and Ireland have now declared that if Israel are in next year’s Eurovision, they won’t compete. And what a tragic loss to the art and culture of the entire world if that happens. I think the answer is that both those nations is just fuck off completely. I won’t miss them at all.

Happy Tuesday

A xxxx

So Spurs are top of the league, and it feels… fabulous!
Ok, so ‘technically’, Liverpool occupy that space, just for the moment, until the Burnley tosser who gave away a penalty in the 95th minute of the game, is done for aiding far Eastern betting syndicates and Liverpool get docked 27 points as a consequence. And yes, I know that Arsenal are above us, on a goal difference of ONE, so that really doesn’t count for much at all. Bournemouth, you may say, have the same points as us and Arsenal, but we all know that can’t last.

So Spurs are top!!!

And deservedly so after dispatching West Ham in such style on Saturday evening. It was wonderful. If there’s one thing better than watching your team win, and I write this as a completely impartial neutral, its watching your team beat TOTAL SCUM WHO YOU FUCKING HATE!!!!

The first half was actually quite balanced. Then West Ham showed why they’ve spent the last 2 seasons narrowly avoiding the relegation they so richly deserve, and gave in to sheer class. Pap Sarr’s goal was wonderful. ‘Always watch out for short geezers at the far post’ is a maxim West Ham missed in training. They don’t guard their posts at all. Its too ‘1967’ for them. So having conceded a goal they thought the best way to win would be to have a man sent off. Which they did as Soucek flew in, feet off the ground, aiming at the shins of the nearest Brazilian. The second goal was simply divine. Romero’s totally beautiful 65 yard pass right onto Bergvall’s head. And our Swedish teen completed things brilliantly. Mickey Van der Ven finished things off for our 3rd. Job done. Take a long shower to wash ‘the London Stadium’ off your skin.

So will Graham Potter be the first manager of the season to ‘go’? His record, particularly at home, is disastrous. Though he does have a team of losers, now we’ve relieved him of Kudus, their only decent player. Or will that honour go to Ruben Amorim, who carefully guided Manchester United to a classy and elegant 3-nil defeat at Man City? Well, without the class and elegance. Amorim maintains that ‘he will not change his tactics, even if it costs him his job’. Obviously because its… errrr… working so well? Achieved great results so far?? I’m sure Jim Ratcliff will remain patient and committed. Hmmm.

Chelsea, the scumbag’s scumbags, conceded a fabulously late goal at Brentford to keep them from overtaking Spurs. And no-one was unhappy about that.

All in all; a wonderful weekend of football was enjoyed by all. Of my family.

Happy Monday

A xxxx

Today we had the ‘stone-setting’ for my dear, departed brother. That’s when you put half a ton of granite on top of the grave to prevent ghosts. They say a few prayers, which I’m sure are very meaningful but I’m not big on praying, in case you were in any doubts. Then they let you speak. My lovely sister-in-law held it together… just, for some lovely and very heart-felt words which reduced people to tears, then I had a go before everyone put the tissues away. Whilst preventing my ‘helper’, Joey, from dismantling the lectern. So I thought, as is my nature, that I’d ‘share’.

Sad but Happy Sunday

Xxxx

There are people in this world who make a lot of noise, who create a lot of fuss and chaos, but get very little done. That was my role in the family dynamic, growing up.
Then there are those who are more quiet, more considered, less annoying, who can pretty much get anything and everything done.

Rich loved birds. I’d send him a photo from some distant country and he’d message back within seconds with the name, habitat, breeding patterns. I was happy with ‘the yellow one with the funny beak’, he insisted on proper names. He’d even identify them from recordings of their song. Even last week, in Canada, we sat looking at ‘white, swoopy ones’ and I thought, they probably have a name. But I’ll never know it now. And it’s those moments, those, ‘just ask Rich’ moments, which are instantaneously quite painful, and then mellow into the wonderful memories we have of my lovely brother. Of Di’s lovely, true-partner.

Tommy Robinson is at this very moment, marching through London in the ‘name of free speech’. A phrase which has now become an euphemism for ‘slagging someone off with impunity or inciting a riot’. Or more precisely, slagging someone off who I really hate, or inciting a riot against a group I disapprove of. That’s ’freedom of speech’. Something which is now the exclusive domain of ‘my side’. If ‘they’ do it, it’s ‘hate speech’, ‘incitement to violence’ and racism. All of which happen to be illegal. Even if you’re speaking them freely. Because ‘free speech’ must have its limits. And that’s where the problem lies. Where we draw the lines.

Tommy and his gang have chosen to drape themselves in flags. Both Union flags and Cross of St George, English flags. Both of which have been previously ‘hi-jacked’ by far right organisations and thus manage to ‘offend’ those on the left and those of migrant origins, to the extent that Councils are now almost on the verge of banning the Cross of St George in certain circumstances. Which is odd when you see how many Palestinian flags are flown over the capital and on several council office buildings. It’s also tragic that there are people who have chosen to live here and yet remain unforgiving of events which happened hundreds of years ago during ‘the Empire’ to the extent that a mere sighting our nation’s flag gives them mental health issues, for which that very same nation will give them payments every week.

I don’t like Tommy Robinson. He’s a thug. He may ‘support Israel’ but I simply don’t trust him. In his previous incarnations he’s headed up many organisations with antisemitic tendencies. He now flies the Star of David flag for the sole purpose of upsetting Muslims, who he really hates.

We have always ‘United behind the flag’, going back to the Romans who followed theirs into battle. Because flags unite people. Make you feel part of the gang. It’s the same at football. You wear your flag on your shirt and it’s wonderfully inclusive.

As long as you’re part of that gang. If you’re not, flags and emblems are wonderfully exclusive. From all those who are part of a different gang. Who probably hate your one.

So we have national flags. We have football flags. And in a less ‘wavey’ way, we have political flags. Which are becoming more and more divisive, to the extent that Charlie Kirk was murdered for holding up his MAGA flag. Its politics. Agree or disagree with him, Charlie loved a debate. He wasn’t Trump, both incapable of formulating a coherent argument and shouting down anything he doesn’t like. The irony being that Tyler Robinson (no relation), who shot Charlie, was a big MAGA fan too. Which in no way excuses the Democrats who celebrated his death.

It’s a world wide problem. Go to Canada and every house flies their flag. In protest against Trump’s nonsense about it becoming the 51st state.

We all love a flag. Mine is white all over.

Happy Saturday

A xxxx

They murdered Charlie Kirk. And I use the pronoun ‘they’ under advisement. Not because there were many of them, but because it has become a bit of a ‘trans’ issue. And I don’t want to be sued by some flaccid ladyboy on his way to the electric chair. I’m too careful for that.

The first photos which have emerged of the ‘possible killer’ look like ‘it’ could be a boy. Possibly. But possibly not. All in black, black cap, who knows. What we do know is that ‘they’ are a pretty good shot. Assuming they wanted to kill Charlie Kirk. If they were aiming at a deer in the Utah woods half a mile in the other direction, then it was a shit shot. But you kind’a feel that Charlie was the intended target. Not least because murder weapon contained bullets with ‘trans messages and statements’ scrawled on them. Small messages, I’m guessing. And Charlie was the ‘darling’ of the anti-trans movement. He was a Trump boy through and through. Trump’s advocate for the nation’s youth. Who won’t listen to Donald because to them, he’s irrelevant.

To shoot someone dead from 200 yards, according to American, mainly Republican, commentators, who know of such things, in ‘easy conditions’; low wind, clear air… does not require The American Sniper. Anyone can do it. Well, anyone with a fairly high powered rifle, the right ammo and a particularly murderous mindset. Democrats generally aren’t capable of such a shot as they don’t own guns. Unless…

Unless they’re ‘trans-democrats’. Probably a double meaning. Transitioning from one gender to another AND from Republican (hence all the guns) to Democrat. Its the only explanation.

I’ll admit, I was no big fan of Charlie. Not the trans stuff, I’ve become immune to it after our years of suffering over here. Let people be trans, but don’t expect to change the whole fucking world to accommodate them. And their often ridiculous sensitivities to words and phrases. But Charlie had lots of other Trumpian views of a more hard-rightish nature. But he can say what he likes.

And you’d expect politicians to all empathise with his untimely murder. They all stand up in vast crowds and express views which many don’t agree with. Yet when the House of Representatives called for a minute’s silent prayer for Charlie Kirk, the Democrats heckled, jeered and basically refused. Politics remains ultimately divisive even in the face of such a tragedy.

What a bunch of heartless, ignorant muthafuckas.

Happy Friday

A xxxx

You came and you gave without taking…

Another day, another song. And Barry Manilow was a keen observer of the labour politics of the future with his rather telling song all those years ago.

I always like Peter Mandelson. He was one of the good guys. Blair’s major strategist and the world’s first ‘spin doctor’ as he never let the truth get in the way of a good message. He was always just more clever than everyone else around him. Including Tony Blair. In fact, especially Tony Blair. And, like Nigel Farage, I admire sheer brilliance when it comes with a hard, no-nonsense edge to it, regardless of the politics which may be horribly attached to it. That’s another matter.

So ‘Mandy’ eventually became a ‘Dame’, when ennobled by Gordon Brown, so he could return to government, having effectively been sacked for a few dodgy deals involving undeclared loans which, coming from someone who was under investigation by the department Mandy ran, could, to some very cynical eyes, appear almost bribe-ish. And then using his clout to get his cleaner a UK passport was a push too far.

I liked his appointment as ambassador to the US because he’s someone who would never be ‘pushed around’, even by Trump. He’s way too clever for the Orange Dunce. Who actually always appeared to be rather fond of Mandy, left-wing history notwithstanding.

But I’d forgotten, or never realised, that the two men were ‘connected’. By their shared guilt by association with Jeffrey Epstein. The dead paedophile. But being dead doesn’t protect those who had historical affiliation. As Mandelson found out today when Starmer sacked him. And as Trump is spending an inordinate amount of time denying.

And I can so see how Trump would have been drawn to a known sex offender who flaunted his crimes openly. It would have appealed to Trump’s ‘grab ‘em by the pussy’ ethos.

But Mandy is gay. Openly, happily, married-ly gay. And would not share Epstein’s predilection for little girls. Nor be party to… the parties. So I can only imagine. Because we’ll never know. Yet remain free to speculate like fuck.

And my view is: Starmer threw Mandy under a bus to avoid being seen as ‘weak’ and ‘slow to react’, as he normally is viewed. His party are in disarray, his personal rankings are below those of Fred West and there are rumours he won’t last another year. He doesn’t know how to handle his MPs about Gaza, nor Ukraine, the boats keep coming, the economy’s gone to shit. So let’s sack Peter Mandelson and see if it improves my standing.

Well, Kier, its doesn’t. You got rid of one of the… of the only decent person in your entire party structure. Tosser.

Happy Thursday

A xxxx