You know those Japanese, right? Stiff, polite, buttoned up, neat, precise, smart, formal. Right?

Actually it’s wrong, it’s just a façade; a veneer, to cover an emotionally repressed, sexually deprived bunch of perverts and deviants, who sit in cafes in their Armani suits sniffing schoolgirl knickers.

Ok, not all of them. But the ‘take away’ from Japan (a truly amazing country filled with magic) is that ‘all is not what it seems’ with the people. There are hidden depths. Of depravity, frustration and suppressed feelings as a result of their overly oppressive cultural restrictions. Which cover all aspects of ‘hooking up’ with potential ‘mates’. Its their way.

But now, in a new initiative called: ‘Tokyo Cool Biz’, they’re trying to change the image of their white collar workforce. ‘Where appropriate’, they should ditch the jackets and ties; wear polo shirts (shock! horror!!) and even… wear shorts!!!

But this initiative has met with some protests. Mainly, that ‘oyaji’ and ‘ojisan’ shouldn’t be allowed to wear shorts. Who are these people? Banned from displaying their lower legs in public?? Literally the words mean ‘dads’ and ‘uncles’, but only in the derogatory. Its an insult. To dads and uncles. Essentially, middle aged men (and presumably older) shouldn’t wear shorts because they have horrible, hairy legs.

Well, a message to the Japanese nation from an oyaji and an ojisan: JUST FUCK OFF!!!

I wore shorts in Tokyo. Even in Kyoto!! And my legs were always admired. Ok, mainly by me, but there were no sniggers. No accusations of ‘oyaji’ or ‘ojisan’, just swooning admiration. Possibly lust, even. Mel loves my legs. Almost as much as I do. I have a long list of fabulous physical features (I keep it on my phone, with copies in the cloud, just in case) and my legs are right up there with the hairs growing out my nose and my fabulously endowed ears.

So how dare those young Japanese dare to try and exclude me from the bare-leg brigade!!! Ok, I don’t exactly live there. But I’m filled with empathy for all those uncles and dads who, like me, possess a pair of enviable pins which will forever be banned from public display because of rampant ageism!!!!

Who cares?

Happy Wednesday

A xxxx