Ahhhh, Dominic Cummings; the gift that keeps giving. Now elevated to national hate-figure and pariah, the devil incarnate (he always had it in him), and the embodiment of the expression: when you’re in a hole, STOP DIGGING. Or he should be. He’s bright enough to know that pathetic excuses will be viewed as such by – Read More-
Today the esteemed Master Joseph Conway Bell reaches the immense milestone of his first birthday. Yesterday he was ‘zero’, today he is 1. The difference is marked. Yet really, every day is a milestone at that kind of age. He dribbles a bit less. Ok, not much but a bit. He crawls faster, stands more, – Read More-
It’s over. Man wins. Shed succumbs to the inevitable force and… becomes a shed. Maybe its Man 1, 1 shed. All but the door. Which apparently, in normal sheds is actually attached. But this is no normal shed. This is a SUPERSHED and thus the door just sits there. Awaiting someone stronger than Mel who – Read More-
As a nutritional expert I have reached a conclusion about a certain class of foods. In my ongoing (lifelong) study of all ‘things wot get eaten’, which has obviously reached new, improved levels since lockdown as we seem to be eating 8 meals a day. The days of a tuna sandwich or a chicken baguette – Read More-
It’s been a busy few months for Boris Johnson. And his Johnson. They became prime minister, ‘got Brexit done’ (remember Brexit; ahhhh the nostalgia…), caught Covid 19, nearly died, came back to life, like Jesus, and became a father for the 17th time (estimates may vary). Some minor relief arrived for our overwhelmed PM yesterday – Read More-
I’ll start with a question: eh-hem: does anyone out there make a power drill with a petrol motor? If not, why not? Not that my old rechargeable electric is insufficient in any way, just that… just that… just that I like petrol engines. The smell, the noise, the mess, oil down my arms, petrol over – Read More-
I like to swear. Don’t know why. Makes me feel good. Makes me feel rebellious. Even though everyone swears. Makes me feel like a builder. Though they swear in Polish. I don’t know the reason, I just know its a fabulous way of self-expression. And never better than when juxtaposed with delightful and flowing eloquence – Read More-
There’s a new facet to Cornovirus that’s just coming to light. Something that wasn’t noticed in the original list of symptoms. It’s called: ‘Coronavirus associated, with this much time I can do fucking anything! syndrome’. And affects a certain class of people. Not the fatties, they get enough of a rough deal from Covid as – Read More-
This is my ‘roadmap to normality’. I think it explains more than all Boris’s words of good but misguided intentions which constitute his ‘roadmap’. Plus, I really hate that word in such a metaphorical context. It’s patronising. Don’t know why, but it is. Anyway, life goes on. Went to work yesterday and had lots to – Read More-
Hello Britain… well I should say ‘hello England’ because for the purposes of this wonderfully simple, completely uncomplicated and totally lacking in confusion statement, we need to separate ourselves from our family of nations who seem to think that Patty Peroxide in Edinburgh, somebody Welsh and the current incarnation of Lucifer’s sister in Belfast, can – Read More-