… The white geezer. Same as always. They gave one to Sidney Poitier in about 1975 and that was enough ‘diversity’ for any distinguished organisation, surely? What should they do? Give an Oscar to Philip Schofield just to keep numbers up? Would it be better if some of the nominees (all white) turn up in – Read More-
King Tut has always had a special place in our hearts. His heart was removed and buried near him a little box with his organs and a few other ‘bits and pieces’. It was the Egyptian way. But King Tutankhamen wasn’t like the BEST EVER pharaoh, nor the tallest, sexiest, ugliest, meanest, most successful or – Read More-
So there’s a BA flight from New York. Guy pops into the bathroom before take off to… well, whatever. Looks at the sink area (4 inches x 3, as they always are) and sees hand-wash, sanitiser, hand cream, 2 passports and a Glock 17 automatic pistol. Looks at the passports (I’d have fired the gun, – Read More-
They held the Iowa Caucus on Monday. One of those vague and impenetrable American things which happens every few years and no-one over here knows what it means or what it does and then they announce a winner! This year it was different in that no-one over there appeared to know what was going on – Read More-
I had the privilege, the honour, the just damned good fortune to be at Spurs yesterday. Because I don’t normally go but made an exception because… because… because I wanted to. And wanted to parade my new-found facial deformities before the 62000 assembled there. Though most of them didn’t appear to notice. They were too – Read More-
I wouldn’t normally watch the Aussie Open final. Why would I? When I could be playing tennis. But I’m not allowed and due to the ridiculous time difference the Aussies insist on maintaining, I’m watching Djokovic play Dominic Thiem. So famous that I just had to google his first name. But he’s brilliant. Outstanding. Incredible. – Read More-
So this is what happens when you go for a ‘bone graft’ at the dentists. You end up looking like a cross between a chipmunk and The Elephant Man. And its weird. To look in a mirror and see a completely different face from the stunning beauty you’re so familiar with (deluding yourself into). My – Read More-
So what do you do on Liladay when there’s no Lila? She’s tanning herself in the Indian Ocean and I’m here in the grey and damp. Although maybe not ‘tanning’ as such, due to the gallons of factor 50 her mum took with. More at risk of drowning in sun protection than getting burnt. Anyway, – Read More-
But more, much more than this, I did it Hu-aaaaa-wei. Well I’m glad I’ve got that out my system. Which is more than we can say for the company concerned, who are well and truly in, over, above and underneath our new system for 5G. Which has been approved by our government. If Boris is – Read More-
If you watch Lila for any length of time, and I have been known to do that, you realise one (of many) things. That little children are unbelievably flexible. They can just move their little bodies in any direction to the maximum extent that skeletons allow. Whereas adults are generally different. We move anywhere, bend – Read More-