When is a penalty not a penalty? When the ref doesn’t give it, that’s when. Similar to ‘when is a handball not a handball’? Unless its perpetrated by ‘our side’ rather than yours. Here’s the rule. Andy’s rule. Ready? At the end of the game you add up all the goals, allocate them numerically to – Read More-
Well, we’ve all survived the first 18 hours of the Trump presidency. In fact its gone rather well, so far. The sun still rose this morning, the tennis court still managed to accumulate sufficient fucking frost to render any play impossible, Tai Chi was still life-changingly awesome and no nukes fell anywhere in the world. – Read More-
I love a food fad. In fact, I just love food. Preferably in excess, but lots of moderation counts. As in, that was a ‘moderate’ food intake, now I’ll eat yours. But I love a food fad because they’re so transparently stupid. And they last for approximately 3 months until someone says ‘actually, if you – Read More-
Pep Guardiola, Manchester City’s outrageously expensive manager, took his lacklustre bunch of under-performing but over-payed fading stars to the cinema yesterday afternoon. To see LaLaLand. The Abu Dhabi budget could stretch to a few seats at the local Odeon. So I went to see it last night too. Only to see what effect the movie – Read More-
We’re leaving Europe. Brexit means Brexit zzzzzzzzzz… Yet Theresa May was impressive yesterday. Despite the clown suit she chose for the most important speech Britain has heard since Churchill met them on the beaches (different bunch of Europeans), she delivered her ‘plan’ with strength and force and a genuinely ‘don’t fuck with me’ attitude. But – Read More-
If you weren’t sure exactly what it meant, America is to have a new President which come in all shapes, colours and sizes For four years; gone before anyone realises. This new one is the colour of gold his face, his hair, all toned to what was ‘orange of old’ But being the Prez is – Read More-
Who is a bigger bastard? Diego Costa or Dmitri Payet? That’s a tricky one. Both are total, absolute bastards of the first order, mercenary, disloyal and petulant. So here’s another question: can you be TOO rich? The problem in football is perception. Nothing more, nothing less. We, as fans, ‘perceive’ our players kissing their badges – Read More-
This is what happens when Spurs lose a match. I go out on Saturday night, maybe dinner, maybe a movie, come home, make tea and don’t watch Match of the Day because I hate it and have no interest whatsoever in any other team. Instead I find the comfort that really only a T-1000 can – Read More-
When Eddie Murphy made that atrocious remake of the Nutty Professor, very few Jews complained that the Jerry Lewis role as professor was originally Jewish. Who basically gives a shit? The re-make was so awful no-one wanted to make any claim to any part of it. The play Hamilton is a historical production in which – Read More-
A few months back I had cause to mention the new ‘Hyperloop’ transport system. It works on the basic principle that: if the shortest distance between two points is a straight line, the fastest way to travel along that line must be better than using slight modifications of Stephenson’s Rocket. Our new HS2 trainline (should – Read More-