One rarely has the time to read ‘the papers’. As in all the papers. Generally I scan the Times in the morning, And then one arrives at the airport and one has simply fuck-all else to do with one’s time. We were ‘rush-houred’. Where if we’d left at a normal time, we’d have arrived 6 – Read More-
According to the New York Times we are currently ‘reeling’ from the attack on Saturday night. All of us. In reels. I’m not even completely sure what that means, but I know enough to say ‘that ain’t happening’. London doesn’t ‘reel’. Maybe its that ‘stiff upper lip’ thing, maybe its just burying your head in – Read More-
We take three steps forward and 19 back. That’s the rule. 9 months after my cortisone injection in the shoulder and endless (seemingly, even though I’m not that good at actually doing it, but having the instructions counts, right?) physiotherapy, it was finally on the mend. Actually just a little ache in the mornings rather – Read More-
In case you might be in any possible doubt, let me make my position perfectly clear: I FUCKING HATE TERRORISTS AND WOULD WILLINGLY ROUND THEM ALL UP, PUT THEM IN A BIG HOLE AND FILL IT WITH CONCRETE. All of them. The whole bloody lot. But you can’t find them. You can’t prevent them, so – Read More-
And there’s just four players left in the mix, really. We have Corbyn, we have May, we have Trump and we have Arsene Wenger. These are the only ones left to lead us, our collective futures are in their hands. Which would be fine, but its their heads in which the problems lie. I think – Read More-
In the 1960s and 70s a young Aussie called Margaret Court was the undisputed champ of women’s tennis. She was the Martina of her day. The proto-Williams. Sharapova without steroids. She was a winner. Yet even back then she had views that were… different. At a time when everyone was boycotting South Africa because of – Read More-
Ladies and Gentlemen of the jury; I shall present you with evidence over the course of this trial, to show that security measures currently employed in this allegedly fair and democratic nation, are in fact just hi-tech versions of spying. And the Plaintiff, Lila Sophia Bell, has indeed had her human rights abused by this – Read More-
First Diana Abbott malfunctioned when asked 2 weeks ago about police numbers and costing. She had no clue. Started mumbling and conjuring figures out of thin air on the Nick Ferrari show. “Errrr… that’ll cost… errrr… just a minute… YES, 300,000 a year”. So that’s paying policemen £30 a year each then? enquired Ferrari. “Oh… – Read More-
Some decisions are hard to make. Not exactly ‘Sophie’s Choice’ but, like, which tennis racquet should I buy? Because someone, (no names mentioned, RAAACHELLLL!!!) broke my last one. Ok, she would probably say that ‘the string broke’, whereas some of us are not so accepting of so-called ‘accidents!!!’. I normally wait about 3 years til – Read More-
What do you do on a rainy bank holiday monday when you’ve just spent 2 hours with the granddaughter and had her wrenched screaming (me, not her) from my vice-like grip? You bake a cake, that’s what real men do. A cheesecake in fact. Which I’ve never made but my mum made the best everrrrrr – Read More-