So there we were, me and Ivani, the gorgeous Brazillian, off to Disneyland. We had fun. And spent the next 3 days together until she went back to Sao Paulo. Leaving me bereft. Again. The last time I’d been ‘bereft, when I left the stewardess on the plane, only lasted a few minutes. Though Ivani – Read More-
Just because you’re paranoid doesn’t mean they’re not out to get you. Isn’t that what they say? Well how about ‘even if you’re not paranoid, they’re still gonna fucking get you’. I’m the least paranoid person around. The original ‘things’ll work out just fiiiiiine’. Like Scarlett O’hara with ‘there’s always tomorrow’, I have ultimate faith – Read More-
Sexist stereotypes are pretty much forbidden now. Which is why, like with Eve’s apple in the Garden of Eden, they’re just soooooo good. Do you remember a year or so ago Virgin airlines had an ad on tv and cinema that showed a group of about 6 stewardesses in the newly released uniform, all long-legged, – Read More-
Fuck me its hot today. 30 degrees. I’ve just come off the tennis court and my body has no intention of stopping sweating for hours. Possibly days. Much as ‘its gorgeous to be out there’, it almost makes you wish for a cloudy, damp, cold February day to play your tennis in. Then just walk – Read More-
Part 1. In November, 1981 I went to Los Angeles and didn’t come home for a year. Ok, that was the intention. I’d been working for a few years, was bored, involved in a relationship that really wasn’t right (nothing to do with sheep, honest) and I’d always wanted to travel a bit. Unfortunately, the – Read More-
My birthday today. Another fucking birthday. Jesus, seems like only a year since my last one. I mean; getting to 60 was an achievement of courage and endeavour pretty much unmatched by anyone else ever. But 61? Sixty-one?? How does that happen? One minute I’m a young turk (well I thought so) and the next – Read More-
The leader of the Liberal Democrat Party resigned yesterday in a ‘shock announcement’ that at least 27 people worldwide may possibly have heard. And at least 9 of those said ‘who?’. Tim Farron has found it increasingly difficult to reconcile being a political party leader, even of that little lot, with his ‘Christian beliefs’. Which, – Read More-
Ok, so you arrive in Inverness, or near Inverness, and you have, basically, one afternoon to play. And Inverness, the ‘capital of the Highlands’ that it unquestionably is, with no competition whatsoever as its a city, its big, has lots of traffic and people and buildings, and everywhere else up here is a tiny village – Read More-
On Saturday night we came back from dinner and turned on the tv. For the last 6 minutes of the England vs Scotland world cup qualifier. Mel insisted. England 1-0 up, all comfortable, what could possibly go wrong? Scotland scored from a free-kick. Major bummer. Gordon Strachan leaping round like a mad thing. Two minutes – Read More-
The great thing about Scotland is that there are toilets everywhere. Nice ones. Toilet paper. Soap. Paper towels. Driers that work. Clean places where one can… toil, in all kinds of out-the-way places. And if you basically start at ‘middle-of-fucking-nowhere’, then ‘out-of-the-way’ is pretty much a given. Oh, and it is beautiful. Eye-wateringly beautiful. Yesterday – Read More-