I’m a sensitive soul. Easily offended. Therefore I always try to be as inoffensive as possible. Unless I can get away with it. But the general rule is: say what you want, think what you want, but NEVER PUT IT IN WRITING. Or on the radio, for that matter. Its all about putting things in – Read More-
I hate injections. I’d rather face a man coming at me with a sword than with a syringe. At least my tai chi has shown me how to cope with the former. Obviously, as long as its a very very blunt sword and he comes in slow motion. But a syringe? You’re not allowed to – Read More-
So Matt Taylor, the man responsible for sending a ‘lander’ the size of a washing machine on a comet, 370 million miles away and traveling faster than any speed camera could hope to detect, after a 10 year voyage to get there, is in shame. After achieving the most amazing scientific feat of several generations, – Read More-
Its Tuesday. Bridge night chez nous. Ever since Mel decided, about 5 years ago that playing the beautiful (card) game is the only sure way to stave off all forms of dementia and… well, I’m sure there was something else, its gone now. Where was I? So we play bridge. We had lessons then became – Read More-
Susannah Constantine is a tv presenter. Talks about clothes. Bitches about other women’s sortorial faux pas. I’ve never watched her. Until she learns to kick a football, becomes a man and puts on a Spurs shirt (and trust me; we’ve fielded worse, much worse), I have no interest in her tv antics. But yesterday I – Read More-
I hate to keep blaiming Gwyneth Paltrow for all the evils on the planet but she’s right up there with ISIS and Arsenal when it comes to the ruination of our culture. In this specific case its food. Or ‘not food’. Her (and others, but I prefer to have a focus for my scorn, preferably – Read More-
“Can I just plug my charger in somwhere; my phone’s gone dead”. No you can’t. Fuck off. You think electricity’s free? “Yes, of course you can, Michael, in fact let me make you a cup of tea and I’ll service your phone for you too; delete the obselete apps, enhance the screen, upgrade the battery – Read More-
It is with great relief and joy that we can today announce that the 2022 World Cup will, after all the controversy and scandal, indeed be played in Qatar. As originally voted, selected, elected and chosen in a very honest, uncorrupt and logical way, organised as ever, in the impeccable standards we’ve come to expect – Read More-
An Irishman walks into Spearmint Rhino one night. Rather, an Irishman staggers into Spearmint Rhino one night, blind drunk, and, remembering nothing of events the morning after, finds a credit card receipt from that worthy establishment, to the tune of £7,500. Its not a joke, but sure has a worthy punchline. Had he been sold – Read More-
Saw a great movie last night. This is where I leave you. That’s what its called. And it was a preview as part of the London Jewish Film Festival. Because being Jewish is not just about chopped liver and bagels. Its not just about supporting Spurs (oyyyyyy; see later) and having opinions about everything. Its – Read More-