In an opinion poll, 49% of people think Ed Miliband, the Labour Party leader, should be replaced. They don’t say with what. Perhaps a nice lampshade for the corner of the room? A salt-beef sandwich on rye? Flat screen tv? Though my initial reaction was: ‘what the fuck is wrong with the other 51% of – Read More-
Fantastic news: crabs can hear!!! Yeah, really, those creepy, side-walking little tasty crustacea (and sometimes scarily big crustacea) can hear things. Scientists have shown. Like they needed to spend ‘our’ hard-earned dollars on that. Have they never seen Finding Nemo? Not only can crabs hear, they can speak, dance, drive cars and parachute out of – Read More-
Let’s all strive to keep politics out of sport. And by ‘sport’, I mean football. They simply don’t go together. One is a bunch of misguided fools running round like headless chickens kicking anything that gets in their way, and the other is football. Thus we must always strive to keep sport pure of the – Read More-
Personally, I blame Angelina. Or, rather, Dame Angelina, now we’ve restructured the entire, 2 thousand-year-old honours system to accommodate a foreign person within the realms of those ennobled by Her Maj. Just goes to show, the quickest way to a medal is to get an Oscar. As Sir Daniel Day Lewis just proved as well. – Read More-
28 years ago today, Melissa took me to be her lawful wedded whatever. To have and to hold, from that day forth, fifth, sixth and 28th, through sickness and health and 7 World Cups, and counting, for richer or poorer, Love Thy Neighbour. Morecombe & Wise. Til death us do part. Some sitcom of the – Read More-
Its not the magnitude of the Dutch win over the holders, Spain, last night that is amazing. Nor that Australia lost to Chile, which everyone except the most devoted or drunk (or both, as is normally the case) Aussie knew was inevitable. Not even that Brasil (note that I spell it the ‘proper’ way, like – Read More-
Tuesday night there was an ‘event’ by a contact lens company. So we went along. The lectures were kind of lecturish, the food distinctly average to dull. The crowd was, essentially rent’an’optician and the lenses in question, nothing new. There were no great freebies to be had; no ipads given away, not even writing pads, – Read More-
As ever, there’s been some truly remarkable music-on-tv of late. They had a docu-thing all about the Eagles. Early, middle, late, pre-trial, mid-split, post-litigation, apres rehab, the usual. So much that it was in 2 parts, both long and luxurious and easy on the ear. On Saturday night it was Wham night on BBC2. Ahh – Read More-
Comedy was invented by Monty Python. Everyone knows that. Before the words: ‘and now for something completely different’ were uttered, no-one had ever laughed. There had been no jokes, no funny stuff, no nuffink. Ok, comedy’s old. People want to laugh, its a lift from the mundane, from the burden, from the tedium. So the – Read More-
I’ve just realised that this could in fact be the last World Cup tournament ever played. Sorry, THE LAST WORLD CUP TOURNAMENT EVER PLAYED!!!!!!!!!!!!! So events like the tradition of washing your horses in the Eden River in Cumbria for the Appleby Horse Fair, which dates back to 1685, will have to step up to – Read More-