So there’s 2 guys ‘avin’ a chat darn the pub, right? An’ Iain says: “‘ere, Malky, youse never gonna guess whooo they just signed to play on the wing. Only a faaaarrrrkin’ Chinky!” “Naaahhhhh!!!” says Malky, “yer ‘avin a laaarf, ain’t’cha??? A frikkin Chinky? Ya know why, cos ‘is agent is a fat jewboy and – Read More-
Vitamin D deficiency comes about due to lack of sunlight and/or certain foods. Its particularly common in pregnant women, children under 5, people over 65 and Australian tossers who’ve spent 2 years hiding in the Ecuadorian Embassy in Knightsbridge. You can get rickets. Whatever the fuck they are. But Julian Assange can pretend he’s got – Read More-
Part… 963, Culcha. There’s very few places in the world that really do offer ‘everything’. I mean ‘everything you’d want’. Not necessarily buying little boys or beheading practice, but everything you might want to see or do of a nice nature. And London is right up there with so many fantastic opportunities. Ok, we don’t – Read More-
Yesterday 3 magpies landed on the lawn. Just a few hours later Spurs won. In a ‘brilliant’ match (though reports may vary due to the pro-Arsenal stance of much of the so-called ‘neutral’ press) my boys grabbed the points at West Ham. So are those magpies responsible for my team’s victory? Doh. I don’t even – Read More-
Spurs are third from bottom in the league. The relegation zone. The drop. But I don’t care because until 12.45 today the league table is a blank page, a clean slate, a tabla rasa for those of us so pretentious and trumped up that nothing other than the language of Caesar can truly… yeah, right. – Read More-
If you stuck an electric heater in your bathtub, plugged in (both heater and bath), you’d die the death of 1000 volts. So how can it be safe to drive a Toyota Prius in the rain? Same thing surely? Water and electricity do in fact mix, but the results are nasty. If ever I have – Read More-
If you’re obsessed with alcohol you’re an alcoholic. If its drugs, you’re an addict. Obsession with France is called Francophilia and if you’re obsessed with staring at the screen of a mobile phone you’re known as a Tosser. A total fucking tosser. Whereas someone who walks down a crowded London street in rush hour staring – Read More-
Everyone’s favourite billionaire, Mike Ashley (do we have ‘favourite billionaires’? or just hate them all on principle and out of jealousy?), has upset everyone, once agian, because he’s invoking the infamous ‘zero hours’ contracts for his Sports Direct part-time workers which basically prevents them from taking second jobs. Even if they only get a few – Read More-
If you look at a map of the Middle East you can barely see Israel, being so small. Egypt next door is immense. Syria to the north is massive, Lebanon just big in a normal way. Jordan has some expanse and Saudi Arabia is vast. Move across to Iraq and Iran and even Turkey and – Read More-
There’s a new movie coming out called ‘What if…’ and it stars Daniel Radcliffe and its a rom-com. They’re calling it ‘when Harry Potter met Sally’. Which is rather clever. As poor Daniel, billionaire by the time he was 7, is now paying the true price of that precocious fame and stardom as he can – Read More-