I’ve always been rather concerned about the welfare of crabs. In much the same way I worry that all grass seems to be green. Or that East Molesey cricket club lost a game on June 17. Or my shoes are a bit scuffed. It all falls in the ‘who gives a shit?’ category of too – Read More-
When I was in Australia, couple years ago, I was still a smoker. Yes, one of those horrible, evil people who pollute the world and endanger the lives of small children and little furry animals with their plumes of noxious poisons. That was me. And when I smoked, before lighting up I always tried to – Read More-
Went out for dinner last night. Had cheese on toast with tomato sauce. Or ‘pizza’ as its known in certain parts of Glasgow. In a new place in Hampstead. Very Neopolitain, very Italian, very small. And as ‘the kitchen’ is basically a great big red open oven, it got very warm in there. I thought – Read More-
President Hollande is getting a bit testy about Russia. Well, everyone’s getting a bit testy about Russia. And so they should. Its a terrible place. Filled with Russians, generally, who are awful people, and many other racists, anti-semites and semi-agricultural, knuckle-dragging peasants. Its always been an awful place. Joseph Stalin invented genocide in the modern – Read More-
Has anyone else noticed any pink men buried waist-deep in their gardens? I just wondered. The good news is he doesn’t eat very much, nor make a lot of noise. The not such great news is he doesn’t actually do anything. Breathe. Speak. Dance. Well, dancing’s hard with no legs, or legs buried under the – Read More-
Oh wow, we finally won something. Brilliant. And when I say ‘we’, I’m prepared, for once, to become British. Because Northern Ireland is part of Great Britain, albeit a consistently troublesome part, and Rory McIlroy is from ‘the province’ and thus his victory is our victory and we can bask in the collective joy of – Read More-
What a great word that is: shalom. Its hebrew. And it means hello, goodbye and peace. All at the same time. So every time you greet someone, you’re actually wishing them ‘peace’ as well. And we could all use a little ‘shalom’ in troubled times. Peace occasionally breaks out in the Middle East, but its – Read More-
What a night. What a day. What heat. What’a what’a. Some places do ‘heat’ really well. Holiday places. Nice places. Maybe a sea breeze, maybe some mountain air, but it can be hot and it can be nice. London’s different. We don’t do heat well. So just as well we don’t get that much of – Read More-
Ya gotta love those European Rules. A bunch of overpaid do-nothings in Brussels who do nothing but eat out all the time on expense accounts paid for by us, have passed a new law. Don’t know where they found the time in between all the foie gras and private jet flights and mistresses in love-nests – Read More-
There’s something about a Harley Davidson. Something wonderful. Something big. Something very shiny. Something very very very loud. My mate popped over yesterday on this rather splendid toy. Its a fat boy. No, not the geezer sitting upon it, he is The Perfect Man, but the bike. And as my mate is in more of – Read More-