I’d like to make a plea on behalf of Gwyneth Paltrow. Well someone’s gotta do it. That poor (well, in some ways) woman is reviled by the press, hated by her peers, ridiculed by her own mother (I made that bit up, just for effect), pilloried by anyone and everyone who eats normal food, doesn’t – Read More-
Its here. Its arrived. The answer to all our troubles, cares and woes. No more recession, no more financial insecurity, no more banks screwing us over, bankers getting squllions of pounds in undeserved bonuses, no more massive national debt, underpaid firemen going on strike on Guy Fawkes weekend, no more corrupt politicians, tax dodgers, gangs – Read More-
What a lovely picture in today’s paper, taken at an event in Beverley Hills ‘to protect the world’s oceans’. How noble is that? You’d expect the picture to contain people in scuba gear, holding spear guns with which they could fend off Japanese Whalers, Chinese rhino-horn poachers (what? rhinos don’t live in the sea?? no – Read More-
Tests have now shown (apparently; they’re always showing something or other; do these ‘testers’ really have nothing better to do??) that left handed people are far more likely to be schitzophrenics than right handers. Schizophrenia (/ˌskɪtsɵˈfrɛniə/ or /ˌskɪtsɵˈfriːniə/) is a mental disorder characterized by a breakdown of thought processes and by a deficit of typical emotional responses. [1]Common symptoms are delusions including paranoia and auditory hallucinations,disorganized thinking reflected in speech, and a lack – Read More-
Even been to Cheddar Gorge? Its in Somerset and its really beautiful. Like a mini version of the Grand Canyon. The Petit Canyon, peutetre. Its big, jagged, rugged and naturally magnificent. A bit like me. But fatter. Its half owned by the Marquis of Bath (hippy nutcase who has up to 75 ‘wifelets’ at any – Read More-
Gareth Bale is up for the world player of the year. If he beats off some weak opposition from the likes of Lionel (who???) Messi, he will be proclaimed God. Master of the world. The most gifted Welshman since Harry Secombe, Gareth Edwards, Neil Kinnock. The best player since Pele, the most talented individual since – Read More-
I still can’t believe that anyone can understand Hungarian. Even Hungarians. Its a big joke. Speak total gobbledigook and pretend they can talk like normal people to each other whilst really sniggering cos its all rubbish. No-one could make sense out’a that. I don’t normally have this issue. Languages have a rhythmn, a tempo, so – Read More-
What do we really know about Hungary and Hungarians?? The early Magyars were obviously savages and barbarians who raped, slaughtered, pillaged and were big on incest because that was pretty much the early (pre 1973) way all round this part of the world. Soon as they decided to have a Europe, in 637 ad, then – Read More-
When I was 14 I went to a summer camp. It was like a prison camp but with songs. And gels. Which is why my old mate Jem made me go. “My brother went last year and they let you loose on all these girls who can’t escape because you’re locked in!!”. Brilliant. So I – Read More-
Yaya Toure is the beautifully named Manchester City footballer famous for having the body of a linebacker combined with the feet of a ballerina. And that he earns £240,000 a week and sometimes goes whole games looking like he is actually somewhere else; maybe on the gridiron, maybe dancing Swan Lake in a tutu with – Read More-