Lila is 7 today. She’s (absolutely nobody’s) April fool. She’s so bright she’s found a way to monetise losing teeth. Her first of which fell out yesterday. She was duly compensated by the ‘tooth fairy’. And has been sitting in front of the mirror with a pair of pliers since then adding up her potential – Read More-
I went to visit the boatman yesterday. He’s moored up in Runnymede, (out near Windsor, where they signed the Magna Carta, you remember, surely?). I didn’t want to visit, no-one does, but I needed some ‘work done’. And in a former life, Mr Boat-person (not presuming nuffink), before he became aquatic, ran garages. For cars. – Read More-
This weekend is the annual ‘Boat Race’. There’s only one. Which counts, the rest no-one gives a shit about. And that’s precisely the problem. Shit. In the water. More specifically, in our rivers, streams and seas. Loads of it. To the point where there is a warning on the River Thames, the nation’s only ‘proper’ – Read More-
So we’re all preparing for World War 3: the Final Apocalypse!, which will in fact be filmed live on YouTube, according to the law, and starring… well, all of us, really. I was going to play Schwarzenegger, but due to my recent shrinkage, I’ll now play Tom Cruise instead. The ante was upped on the – Read More-
Today is the Jewish festival of Purim. That’s nice. What’s Purim? Ahhh, it’s a celebration. Of… well, pretty much a celebration of the Jewish condition. Purim basically means ‘Tsurus’ or ‘Aggro’, as most Jewish festivals do. You see, its all about King Ahasuerus and Queen Esther… This was in ancient Persia in about 400BC!! Yes, – Read More-
Great news! They’ve just brought out a(nother) new Ghostbusters sequel!!! That is precisely what the world needs, right now. Definitely. In its seemingly ongoing quest towards self-destruction and insanity, not helped by Putin ‘winning’ his election and Arsenal sitting top of the league, this could be the solution for all the world’s troubles!!! Ghostbusters is – Read More-
It’s a spring day. Round here. Do I care that it’s snowing in Eastern Scotland? Pissing down in Plymouth? Windy in Wokingham? I wish I could say I do, but alas, I never said I was a nice person, just a guy who likes good weather. And, yes, I am English, so I’m allowed to – Read More-
So my quest to rid the world of the obesity crisis has hit a minor stumbling block. Another one. A ‘hitch’. Because having worked out the evils of ultra-high-processed foods, single-handedly (I always read the newspaper alone), that was the ‘quality’ aspect of our foods totally sorted out. We now need to work on the – Read More-
All talk of football has been banned. Officially. There is NOTHING to discuss. It’s a horrible game and why people put so much stock into the outcome of such meaningless competitions played out by overpaid, mercenary morons, representing overseas money-launderers and sports-washers, I have no idea. And there was almost no talk of tennis this – Read More-
On Sunday night, I’m not going to bed. I can’t. It’s when the polling booths close in Russia and I’m not sleeping until I know who has won. I want to know that there’s a swing in some desolate, isolated Siberian town, I want Jon Snow with his graphs and ‘swingometers’ and a panel of – Read More-