If there’s one thing more depressing than the Olympics ‘opening ceremony’, it’s the closing ceremony. The purpose of the opening ceremony is to bore everyone to tears and incitement to suicide. It goes on for 13 hours and even if its not raining it can only be seen as some vanity-project of narcissistic artistic directors – Read More-
There’s a wonderful scene (they’re all wonderful) in Blazing Saddles where the baddies are recruiting people to attack and destroy the town of Red Rock, with arson, rape and murder as initial requirements. I never said it was a politically correct movie, just a brilliant one. And so a line of candidates is shown ‘for – Read More-
Elon Musk is a two-tier-tosser. Hah!! And that’s a scientific assessment. Because on one level he’s total tosser, then on the next level, he’s an even bigger one. And the worrying thing is; he constantly succeeds in finding new levels, with seemingly no limits. Bit like his wealth. However, when he states, very strongly, that – Read More-
The BBC’s coverage of the Olympics is absolutely brilliant. Without doubt ‘the best in the world’. Because there’s no adverts. So even if the presentation was shit, which it isn’t, even if the production was poor, which it isn’t, the mere fact that you don’t get the 200 metres final interrupted to tell us about – Read More-
My window cleaner, Alan, today pointed out something interesting. Not a greasy mark on the window, something even more interesting than that. Whenever there’s a Labour government we have riots. Under the Tories, its all dead boring with very little violent civil unrest. Put a Labour man in Number 10 and it all kicks off. – Read More-
I’ve never mainlined heroin. It never really appealed to me. It always struck me as a way more ‘Trainspotting’ type drug than anything cool or glamorous. If cocaine was Studio 54 in its heyday, heroin was dirty syringes in the back alleys behind the club where the garbage and the homeless Scottish people were kept. – Read More-
It’s totally been the most, like, 100% bestest ever, like maddest, really insane week for Britain. Ever. Because we’ve been in the Olympics and we’ve won gold medals in sports that until last Tuesday I never knew existed. Yet in just one week, we’ve excelled in the rowing, we’ve bounced on trampolines, shot things with – Read More-
So the thing about school holidays is that they cause a lot of work, even for grandparents. On a normal Thursday, between school drop off and the afternoon pickup lie hours and hours of peaceful inactivity. Whereas holiday days are full-on. Though realistically, is my life more peaceful with Mel or with Lila and Joey? – Read More-
This is now getting personal. Me and the Chancellor of the Exchequer. First we had ‘black-hole-gate’, into which Rachel Reeves blindly stumbled, and now it’s going to get much colder. Because La Chancellor has decided that the quickest way to pay off the 22 billion pound deficit in her mathematical ability is to get pensioners – Read More-
Oh. My. Goooooooooood!!! I’ve just looked at the nation’s finances and I’ve found… a massive black hole!!! Billions missing!!! Didn’t see that before because the outgoing government must have hidden it. Or covered it with… things. Or… Well, its an interesting question how you ‘hide’ figures in accounts which are 100% fully on public view – Read More-