The Northern Line managed to take me 3 stops last night before packing up. Power failure at Camden. Catastrophic. Yeah, heard it before, it’ll be going again in 5 minutes. But after 10 minutes they announced ‘the entire Northern Line is suspended’. Stranded at Tottenham Court Road. Fuck! Hang on; where there’s Lime Bikes, there’s – Read More-
When you turn 60 you start getting uninvited emails from SAGA and all manner of unscrupulous organisations whose very existence is testament to the gullibility of old people and the credibility we attach to established companies who sound ‘beneficial’ to the aged. Whereas in fact, they’re the biggest crooks around. For confirmation of this; apply – Read More-
I don’t know what Jermaine Jenas (known as ‘JJ’ to his mates, other than his former teammates who call him ‘PP’, ‘LZ’ or ‘TB’ because footballers generally can’t spell or read properly) has done to offend the BBC but they have really sprung into action against him. It took about 10 years for the corporation – Read More-
Living on a boat has its dangers. No doubt about that after this week’s happenings in Sicily. You can never be too careful. Waterspouts, pirates, submarine attack, you just never know. Hence my mate, The Boatman, who lives on a really fabulous house boat, has to be careful. Take precautions. Protect yourself. That’s why he – Read More-
We’ve had a new government in for 10 minutes now, possibly a few weeks, and I’ve not been impressed. They’ve immediately caved in to union demands. All of them. The Starmer way, then. Why ‘negotiate’ when ‘caving in totally’ is so much easier, quicker. The whole thing with unions is that it’s in their mandate – Read More-
The death of Mike Lynch as caused such a stir that thousands of people immediately cried out in anguish and despair: “who?” “Oh, the geezer wot sunk on ‘is boat in Sicily”. Weren’t even a proper boat, only had a bloody sail; what use it that to anybody when you could ‘ave a pair’a really – Read More-
The good news is: you can eat carbs again. Don’t hold back. No counting calories. Have the extra slice. Buy two of those. Eat the whole loaf. Toast is now king. Whereas it was… toast. Yet here in the Times this very day, they’ve given us carte blanche to binge on everything they told us – Read More-
What are we going to do about the Scottish Nationalists? Ok, due to various… issues, we’re now lumbered with only 9 of the fuckers in Westminster since the last election. Previously there were about 70 which is too much for anyone. If I’m honest, one SNP MP is one too many. And yesterday showed me – Read More-
I am a terrorist. Not like a suicide bomber, I’m much too important for that and would never wear anything that resembled a ‘fat suit’. And not like Joey in that he wants to destroy everything, in a considered manner. But in one way, as defined by our esteemed new governmental intentions, I am as – Read More-
Who doesn’t read of the recent incursion by Ukraine into Russian land and not grin like a Spurs fan at a postmortem meeting for an Arsenal loss? I’ll tell you who’s not grinning, Vladimir Putin. Though he seems rather quite powerless to re-take control of that little extreme part of his territory currently under enemy – Read More-