There’s a picture in the paper today of Valerie Trierweiler, the First Lady of France, or perhaps the First Mistress, as she hasn’t actually married Monsieur le President, and is unlikely to because he’s a silly little homme. She’s in Soweto, patronising a bunch of local kids. Sorry, I mean ‘visiting’ a bunch of kids. Obviously. Just a slip of perception there. And she looks lovely. A very attractive woman indeed. And, according to wikepedia, she’s 48, which probably means she’s 54 (well you do get to edit wikepedia yourself, so why not?). Yet she has ‘that French way’ about her that is elegant and rather sexy. And somewhat natural. Unlike any American contemporary, Valerie will actually be seen in public with wrinkles round her eyes. The shame of it. She probably has unshaved armpits too. Which Americans can’t have because once all that ‘work’ gets underway the skin gets pulled around in such a way that it all starts to be dragged back north and last week’s underarms become todays sideburns. Which is not a great look sans shavage.

So the question is, are good looking women attracted to French presidents who don’t appear to have a lot going for them, (Sarkozy??) or do you just get given one with the job, the house, the car and all the other perks? Or is it compensation for France’s appalling recent record at international football?

Ok, Mnsr Prez, your team will not survive the first week of any major tournament but you get the babe of your choice?

The film that won the Palme D’or in Cannes this year was French. Its called Blue Lesbians. Well, that’s what I call it. Because the word blue is in the title somewhere and its famously about a lesbian love affair. And I’m going to see it tomorrow as its previewing as part of the London Film Festival. And its in French and I’m a pretentious fucker so that’s just about a perfect match. And the lesbians in question are rather gorgeous and rather French. I’ll keep you posted.

Syria, in case you’ve been asleep for 2 years, is a seriously fucked up place. Awful. Horrific. Whole towns are under government siege because they are ‘rebel held’ (if anyone other than Bashar Assad can work out who is on who’s side any more) and they’re running out of food. There’s no question of ‘compassion’ there. There is no word in Syrian for ‘compassion’. There’s a similar word but it actually translates as ‘gas the fuckers’. And because of Mulsim food restrictions, there’s less to eat than perhaps for other populations. So some clerics there have decided to lift the ban on non-halal meat, so the people can eat dogs and cats and donkeys. Which is otherwise known as ‘opening a kebab shop’. Not great news for the dogs, cats and donkeys, but you can’t starve a population of people. Apparently you can shoot them, bomb them and kill them with chemical weapons, but starvation is out of the question. I despair.

 

Happy Wednesday, we’re in the World Cup Finals.

 

A xxxx