Gloria de Piero is a Labour MP. Not to be confused with Alessandro del Piero who was an Italian striker, diver and diva. As they all are. But Gloria was never any of those things. She was a breakfast tv bimbette now an MP for some godforsaken place somewhere in the wilds of Labourland. And its not a matter of her being drop dead gorgeous, cos she ain’t, but any woman in politics who just lacks good old-fashioned plain ugliness is always subjected to a series of terribly patronising question marks. So being on the more attractive side of the the continuum of female physical diversity, she has to justify being where she is. That she is worthy. Not just ‘window-dressing’, not shagging her way to the top, (shagging Ed Milliband? what an horrendous thought, even his wife agrees with that), nor making up the numbers in parliament to upset the Tories who always lack proportional female representation.

So Gloria, ironically the shadow minister for women and equalities, is doing alright.

Until someone found out that she had some photos taken when she was 15 years old and she was topless.

How the fuck did someone find that out? Its almost inconceivable that some scummy journo overheard, found out or dug deep enough to acquire such knowledge. How deep do you have to dig? So they’re now searching for these photos. Can you believe?

Yes, you can believe. Because anything that might possibly discredit any politician is automatically deemed ‘for the public good’. Even though the public (and I feel I can speak for us all on this point) don’t give two shits what Gloria did 25 years ago, nor really even what she did last week after dinner on tuesday.

Others have spoken out, saying how, as well as being illegal to publish such photos if she was only 15, that the whole thing lacks morality as well as any possible relevance. Other than the ‘crimes’ of the past being great ammunition in the tabloid war against any high profile personage who ever smoked a joint when they were 17, was overly friendly with classmates whilst at Eton or mugged a pensioner at gunpoint when being the MP for Stevenage.

No names have been mentioned with who is doing the searching but if I were to be so bold as to hazard a guess, I would be looking for a newspaper with no moral fibre whatsoever, with a rag so vile, so puerile and stupid that it knows no bounds to decency, and probably one that is on the right wing side of politics because its a lefty they’re trying to discredit.

So its the Daily Mail.

My only issue with the inappropriateness of this whole episode is that I’ve always felt that women’s breasts should always be in the public domain. As long as they’re nice ones. Its part of our constitution. Well, it might be if we had one.

Thus if newspapers will insist on meaningless titillation (ooops), and act immorally and pathetically, and stupidly and in a philistine, chauvinistic and immature manner to make a nothing point, can I have a look?

 

Happy Saturday

 

A xxxx