I don’t think I’ll ever truly understand Americans. I’ve visited them, numerous times, watched all their tv shows, even lived there for a year, amoungst them, like Tarzan when he was raised by the wolves. I learned their strange and mystical ways (eating fat, mainly), loved their women (errrr…), accepted their culture (went to loads of night clubs) and worked there as one of their own. I even understand American Football. But the whole gun thing is just fucking weird. 

Driving down a freeway in Arizona seeing trucks (only and always trucks; only foreigners and gays drive cars in Arizona, and probably foreign gays) with guns hanging in the back window. Big guns. Hunting rifles, shotguns. Very intimidating though probably helps reduce road rage. Ahhh, it was explained to me, that’s because concealing weapons is illegal, but using them as a threat is all well and dandy.

They love giving guns to kids. Here Son, take this gun to school, and that one, and see how many kids you can shoot before they catch you.

Oddly I love guns. In that ‘fobidden fruit’ kind’a way. They’re such cool things. If a little dangerous at times.

And never more dangerous than in the hands of Melissa Bachman. She’s a ‘hunter’. Ooooohhhhh. A hunter!

She has a tv show which is really fab. Come hunt with me. Strictly Hunting. The hunt factor. Whatever. Its on some cable channel and is watched by 37 million sad and sorry fucking Americans, apparently.

And she went to South Africa and killed a lion. And that made her deleriously happy. Because ‘she loves magnificent animals’. Go fucking figure.

If she’d killed it with her bare hands I’d be impressed. If she’d killed it with  her bare breasts I’d watch it on youtube. If she’d used a knife, a spear, bow and arrow even, that’s something. But lion versus gun at 60 metres? What’s the challenge? What’s the FUCKING POINT?????

She’s now caused an uproar within the group of her countryfolk (73 of them at the last count) who don’t approve of first degree murder of endangered species ‘just for fun’. If she was hungry, I’m sure there’s a lorra meat on a fully grown male lion. But she wasn’t. This was ‘for the thrill of the kill’.

I sincerely hope it makes the shameful, dispicable, moronic bitch very happy.

England played football last night, lost to Chile and I couldn’t give a shit.

England play rugby today against the All Blacks and I care truly, madly, deeply.

Lucky its not the British Lions.

 

Happy saturday

 

A xxxx