Although I ‘dabbled’ in horror movies when I was in my mid-teens, it was never my favourite genre. I didn’t mind the grisly deaths, it was just that they seemed to occur instead of a plot, rather than because of it. Or they all shared the same plot. Which all had that fatal flaw. The gorgeous young blonde just taking a shortcut through the woods. In pitch black on her own. Yeah, that’s gonna happen.

But then I was in California and Friday 13th part 3 (what! They didn’t kill enough people in the first two???) came out, I couldn’t resist the hype. It opened on Hollywood Boulevard at midnight on Friday 13th. I mean… I mean… Oh, and it was in 3-d, rather a rarity back then. Giving loads of special effects a higher billing than the already diminished and diluted plot-line, but sometimes… its written in the stars.

So out we ventured. I lived about 3 blocks from the Chinese ‘Theatre’ (what they call a cinema in America because they don’t use the full richness of the language they fucking stole). So with my flat-mate, Craig, and our two gels-of-the-moment, we actually walked to see the film. No-one walks in Southern California. Possibly being (I really don’t remember, but-) worse for a little alcohol? Definitely some unprescribed medication, various herbs and… errr… remedies. A pretty normal night out in 1982. Amazing we found the place. Even though we lived on Hollywood Boulevard itself.

Craig was an English guy, friend of a friend, and we shared living space. He was very good looking (we all were in our flat), dark and butch and… he wore an eye patch. I know, it was 1982, it was New Romantics, everyone wore a fucking eye patch. But his was real because a boating accident left him with terrible double vision which was, in time, to be operated upon. Meanwhile, eye patch. Like the entire queue lines of most of the clubs we went to.

The credits rolled, “FRIDAY THE 13th”, they proclaimed, then underneath appeared a tiny “3-d”. And as we all sat there with our silly red and green lensed specs on, that little ‘3-d’ started coming towards us. And growing. And speeding up. Until it was flying straight into the faces of about 18,000 people. Who all, as one, ducked under the seats. Instinctive reaction. Well, all except one person. Craig. Who just sat there with his eye patch and silly specs smiling at the screen, oblivious to the event and wondering what everyone was doing. Because if you take away one eye, even with silly specs on, you only get 1-d. He was 2 short of a full reaction. 2 short of a full appreciation.

I learned more about binocular vision and stereopsis that night than all those years wasted in lectures.

Happy 2021!!!

A xxxx