Yep, if you could just pull that noose, just, like, a little bit tighter round my neck, yep, yep… that should be fine.

I’ll come clean. ‘Transparency’ (which I thought was another new gender option initially). State my position honestly. Clearly. Without deliberation:

I don’t like Kier Starmer.

I know what you’re thinking; that I don’t actually like anybody (other than Lila, Joey and Son Heung Min). And you’re close. But no cigar. Though I do reserve most of my real dislike for politicians. Only when they lie and cheat and steal. Which is most of them, most of the time. And always when they commit the ultimate sin: hypocrisy. For them the bounds of my hatred are stretched to limits only normally witnessed during child-birth.

I wrote a few weeks ago about how boring (Kier’s middle name) it is that he only has one single cry: ‘HE MUST GO!!!’ Sometimes he amends it slightly to ‘HE MUST RESIGN’ but that in itself is not exactly evidence of a fertile imagination. And although he’s made his call virtually every time the Prime Minister says or does anything (though it should be noted that most of what the PM does is either illegal, immoral or stupid). But he saved his particular form of endless repetition for the ‘party scandals’.

The Prime Minister has broken covid rules; HE MUST GO!
The Prime Minister has broken the law: HE MUST GO!
The Prime Minister has been fined by the police: HE MUST GO!

And now, in the sweetest denouement anyone could ever wish upon a limp and toothlessly benign and banal leader of Her Majesty’s opposition, all that has now been brought to light ‘in Durham’ has put Sir Kier in the exact position Boris occupied when Starmer called for his resignation. Again and again, like a fucking parrot with only one sentence in its beak. The ‘spontaneous working dinner’ which just had ‘a few beers’ has been revealed to be an organised 15-person party, pre-arranged and pre-invited, by Starmer’s office.

Those wonderful words: ‘position’ and ‘untenable’ and ‘tosser’, possibly ‘hypocritical nonce’ need to be arranged in a sentence, the end of which reads: HE MUST GO!

Few teams GO! from Anfield with anything in the way of points. Spurs did last night, to their eternal credit. Unfortunately, it wasn’t really enough points. Which is precisely how Liverpool must be feeling too. Not that we care about them.

Happy Sunday

A xxxx