The Affordable Art Fair is on again in Hampstead. On the heath. They erect this absolutely massive ‘building’ that isn’t a real one, just an illusion of buildingness. Its basically a marquee, loads of scaffolding and smoke’n’mirrors, yet it feels from the inside like a proper structure of substance and permanence. Yet if it was permanent the National Trust would probably have quite a bit to say about building on London’s finest green space. Yes, there are bigger areas (Richmond Park), there are prettier places, but Hampstead Heath is special. And also the home to thousands of rare species of flora, fauna and gay men. So buildings are banned from the Heath, other than those of old, and you’re free to do anything you like there (especially after dark, apparently) except ride your bike. Which is rather annoying for those of us who like riding bikes in such places. Its hilly, naturally undulating and just fantastic for mountain biking. So they ban them. Though its not enforced. They don’t employ bike police. Just crusty old locals who wave their walking sticks angrily at you and tell you ‘that’s not allowed!!!!’ The tourists don’t care, the young don’t know and the Russians are just happy that they’re not being arrested, tortured by the police and sent to Siberia.

The most affordable thing about the Affordable Art Fair is the entry price. Though many of us don’t pay. There are ways round it as virtually every art gallery in London has piles of free entry tickets for about three months before the Fair starts. Take a pile and pass ’em round. Its only the northerners who’ve made the trip down to’t Luundun that have to pay. As they should.

So then it becomes a simple matter of the definition of ‘affordable’. What do you understand by that? Cheap? Bargain?? Under-a-fiver???

Then think again. There is ‘art’ there for 45 quid. If you want the world’s most expensive postcard. Or posters for 85. Anything hangable or sculpted (that doesn’t look like your 3 year-old did it at playgroup) starts at about £2500. Anything really nice or unusual, original, outstanding, starts at about 5-6 grand. Which is affordable, if you sell the car/cancel the holiday/take a loan/cancel your kids orthodontistry. But its still a bit of a misnomer, this ‘affordable art’ thing.

After that we continued our art theme by going to the Finchley Arts Depot last night for a comedy night. It was a fundraiser for the charity ‘Grief Encounter’, the most worthy and wonderful charity which helps mainly kids cope with bereavement. A brilliant cause but more importantly, a charity whose sole aim is based on helping the intended beneficiaries, rather than providing handsome lifestyles for boards of directors and upper level management. Nothing cynical about me then. And Grief Encounter have never harassed pensioners to suicide with incessant phone demands.
Check out their website. But before you go to the Affordable Art Fair and empty the family coffers.

Happy Sunday

A xxxx