Big Brother watches us in many ways and many guises. I’m not talking about Cctv cameras all over the place, reaching such a ridiculous level that a man can barely take a piss on a subway train any more without fear of repercussions! Exposing oneself in public is now almost a thing of the past. And they track us by our credit cards, and by our travel with Oyster cards, though its pretty quiet for most people on that front at the moment. And what those guys miss, there’s always the brace of busy-bodies from Beijing. Huawei and Alexa, keeping tracks on us, reporting back.

And then there’s Google. They know what you buy. They know where you buy it. And they show you loads more just like it. Because the first thing you need once you’ve just spent the last four weeks building, f’rinstance, a garden shed, is another 3 garden sheds. Obvious. Basic marketing.

But the worst is Google Maps. Maybe its because I’m an Android, rather than an Apple, I don’t know. I generally try and avoid all contact with i-phone users, so don’t know if they, like me, receive their monthly ‘statement’ showing what a lazy, useless fucking waste of space, time and not much energy, they’ve been for the last 30 days.

Yet it makes you think. Makes you analyse. Makes you wonder. And, obviously, makes you feel guilty.

In April I walked 82 miles. In May 76 and June, a paltry 61. My world is shrinking. But this may be because the weather in April was so outrageously splendiferous that you just had to walk that extra yard here, another kilometre there. Or possibly that the younger daughter was accompanying us on our daily allowance and she adheres to the philosophy that if you’re not bleeding at the end of it, then it wasn’t really exercise. Maybe even my mileage has dropped due to greater work time.

My cycling has increased. Which means I’m going to the station more. Last month, 1 hour’s cycling, totalling 19 miles. Ok, its not far, its not Sunday morning Lycra-man type pedalling, but 19mph is a good speed, so I’m content.

I visited 2 ‘cities’ in June. London, obvs, I fucking live there, and Northwood. Where I keep my brother-in-law and his old E-type Jag. But, a city? Northwood? Have they been there??? Firstly it doesn’t have a cathedral. Secondly, it doesn’t have anything else. Unless having a Pizza Hut is the new criterion for City status.

Be careful out there; they’re watching YOU!!!

Happy paranoid-day

A xxxx