All men are rapists. Except Donald Trump and Ched Evans. The courts have said so.

Well, the court spoke about Ched, Don is just the ‘victim of a vile and sustained campaign by the Democrats and the Liberal press’ against him.

Which creates the bizarre situation in which possibly the two most vile, abusing, misogynistic, neanderthal, objectifying and evil men are emphatically NOT rapists.

Where does that leave the rest of us? Holy shit!!!

Don’s never actually (or rather ‘yet’) been accused of rape. He’s spoken about it, he’s certainly into being a serial gropist without consent, he’d like to, virtually all day every day, but even The Big Tosser apparently has some limits. Not enough, but some.

Ched Evans is a different thing altogether. Acquitted of the rape charge he was found guilty of last year. The Wales and (then) Sheffield United footballer appealed and won yesterday. In part due to his girlfriend’s offer of £50,000 to witnesses leading to his release, and in part due to the virtually unheard of ‘evidence’ about the victim’s sexual history.

So once again the court was led to that fateful night, filled with all the glamour and up-marketness of the world of (not-quite) Premiership football, and the events at the Premiere Inn in Rhyl. And the lovely, caring, tender text message sent by Ched’s mate, whilst he was actually fucking ‘the victim’ saying: “got one”.

At which point Ched headed for the hills. Or the Premiere Inn, as its called in Welsh.

He never denied having sex with the drunk, unconscious?, girl, but it all came down to consent. Maybe, just before she blacked out from the alcohol his friend had been plying her with, she did consent. She may have said: ‘once I pass out, get yer mate here to fuck me senseless. Even though I’m already senseless and soon to be in a coma. I love a threesome, even when I’m not awake to actually be aware its happening’. She may have done. You just don’t know. Reasonable doubt. Which was certainly present when the girl’s ‘history’ of just such an act was told the court by ‘witnesses’ who were in no way moved by the potential 50k on the table.

Rapist or not, Ched Evans would be the biggest scumbag in the whole world, if it wasn’t for the existence of Donald Trump. Who’s had a 40 year head start on the Welshman.

If, like me, you go to the cafe and think: hmmmmm, pain au chocolate or almond croissant? The eternal dilemma. Love chocolate, adore almond. Well here’s the solution, provided this morning by our new local ‘artisan’ baker. I only went in for a loaf of bread but something about this just… just… just CALLED ME. BY NAME. REPEATEDLY. An almond pain au chocolate. Hardly any calories. And possibly the most obscenely wonderful thing I’ve eaten since… the last thing I ate. A snip at £2.60. TWO POUND SIXTY!!!! FOR THAT!!!!! I too was amazed by the price. Until the first mouthful melted. And it suddenly seemed a bargain. O.M.G.

Happy FAT Saturday

A xxxx