Silence may be golden but I know you worry when you don’t hear from me. Ok, you should worry when you don’t hear from me. But I’ve just been soooooo busy. As life sometimes gets.

Friday was an early start. We needed to be in Elstree for 8am to see a penis. Ok, for a circumcision. That delightfully brutal ceremony in which you ignore 5,000 years of medical capability and chop the foreskin off a newborn’s nob. In the precise instruction of Abraham. Who, if legend is to be believed, performed his own circumcision, at age of 80. God knows why. No. Literally, it was between God and Abraham’s foreskin and God won. So now we all have to do it, though at 8 days old. I’ve never seen a circumcision. I’ve been to dozens. But hide at the back of the room. Unless the bagels are near the front, then I get serious conflict.

So after the working day, which followed the eating of circumcised food, we had team Lila over for dinner, and that’s always exhausting.

Saturday, the sabbath day, started as all do. 8.15 tai chi class, punching my mates in the face. As you do. But then, no hanging round chatting, rushed off to play tennis, earlier than usual, because of an engagement later on. So rush to tennis, rush home, in the shower, dress, and off to see Lila in her first stage… thing. Ever. It was a ‘show’ by her club; ‘Razzamataz’, which says it all. Song, dance, and in a totally wonderful team display, Lila shone. Stood out. Not only because she was the littlest one there, but because of her natural talents. Mainly, being my granddaughter.

Sorting out the garden took the rest of the day. I do ‘destruction’, Mel does ‘pretty’. I mow the lawn. A job with a skill: moron ratio of 1:100. Then hacked some things down wot needed hacking, whilst Mel performed a ‘miracle with the beds’. Which she has to as she’s fallen out with every single (and company) gardener in the entire borough of Barnet.

Sunday was also an early start on the tennis court as I had to work for a few hours after. Then whizz down to the ICU (no weekend is complete without) and back in time to clean the car. Which wasn’t dirty, in any real ‘dirty’ sense of the word, but… its an excuse to spend quality time with it.

I also ‘had’ to watch the final day of the Premier League season!!! Its compulsory. There was just so much at stake!!! Would Arsenal beat Everton? Well, they almost didn’t but in that ‘Arsenal way’ managed to grab 3 points by the end. And so it was all down to Manchester City. Would they be able to beat consistently inconsistent but verging on shitty West Ham? A big ask. At home, when you haven’t not-won a match since about September. Nails were bitten. For 2 minutes til the quite unbelievably brilliant but slightly dim Phil Foden scored his and their first. Then we all celebrated the genius of Pep, the amazing and unprecedented 4th consecutive title and the hard-working lawyers, fraudsters, financiers, accountants and creatives who’ve kept that team at the top.

Tottenham Hotspurs finished fifth. Great…

Happy Monday

A xxxx