Its my birthday. Ok, the line is: ‘its my party…’ but I’m allowed. Because its my birthday. So I’m allowed anything I want. Except for one thing. Cannabis oil. Its illegal. Not in many countries but in the UK, its illegal. Even though its ‘medical grade’ and prescribed by doctors. So I can’t have it either. Not that I’d want it, they take out all the good stuff which, back in the day, was the whole point of using it. And what they leave couldn’t get a hamster high. Though it does have some quite remarkable medical qualities which nothing else apparently does. So the chronically epileptic kid who hasn’t ‘seized’ in 250 days whilst using cannabis oil, has his medicine? stash? anyway, has his drug confiscated by the Home Office and basically is now in hospital and in a very very bad way.

How can that be right?

The doctors have given him an opioid instead (nothing dangerous, addictive, mind-bending about that then?) and its done nothing. But because for some reason the entire Daily Mail reading population of this nation and the tossers who run it (the country, not the Mail) are totally opposed to anything even vaguely marijuana-ish, cannabis oil remains illegal. And enforced even when such enforcement threatens the life of a sick kid. Who never chose to be epileptic. And who could now die. Ok, they’ve just decided to let him have it back, but at such a cost and hoo-haa.

Whereas something else that is just a slam-dunk ‘wrong!’ like upskirt photos, isn’t sufficiently wrong to get all of (the 7 people actually attending) parliament yesterday to let the bill go through. Some old Tory, Sir Christopher Chope, objected to the bill. Apparently he objects to virtually all bills, on principle. That principle being that as a curmudgeonly old git he has to constantly act accordingly. And also because its a ‘private member’s bill’ (which would be a very funny pun if men were upskirted; maybe they are in Scotland?) which only needs one objection to be pushed back to the bottom of the pile. And because its effectively a law change proposed by just one person, Sir Christopher objects because otherwise we’d be inundated with silly little laws, always taking away certain freedoms. So even though this ‘freedom’ is a sick, sordid, perverse and rather sad one, he has objected to its proposed illegal status.

Either that or he publishes an ‘upskirt’ website and may lose revenue.

Jesus, there’s football on! All bloody day!! Gotta go.

Happy birthday

A xxxx