We lost 2 Oscars yesterday. I don’t mean the awards, as in ‘someone else has won MY award so we have to sit smiling and pretending we’re really happy for them whilst really we’d like to rip off their false eyelashes with pliers and disembowel them with a nine-inch gold statuette’. No, 2 other Oscars.

Oscar de la Renta died yesterday, aged 82. He made frocks. George Clooney wore one of them the other week. Jackie Kennedy wore them in the 60s when husbands were dying all around her. Oscar seemed like a sweet man, born in the Dominican Republic, blah, blah, obituary, blah… Yet no mention of ‘he left a wife/lover/’partner’/3 dogs and a newt/whatever’. And that’s strange. He has step-children, one of whom runs his business. He has charities because he did seem like a lovely man. But I need to know if he was gay. To keep up the fashion designer quota of 100%. He had 2 ex-wives, but we aren’t told if these were just window dressing for less liberal decades. We shall all miss him.

Oscar Pistorius went to prison. Not for very long though. 5 years. Though actually, in South Africa that equates, for white people, to 10 months. No, makes no sense to me either. Then he’ll be under ‘house arrest’ so he can host parties and clean his extensive gun collection. Though its doubtful any ‘intruders’ would be brave/stupid enough to bother him. Is it a fair sentence? We’ll never know what really happened that night. To most sane people it was simple murder. He got up, grabbed his gun, shot someone 4 times through the bathroom door, not noticing that the other half of the bed he vacated was missing the stunning blond who had been there at bed-time. Oooops. He has to live with it every day.

nuf Oscars.

UKIP are no longer content to have a team comprising racists, misogynists, paki-bashers and homophobes who believe the flooding last year was divine punishment for allowing gay marriage. Nigel Farage has formed a ‘bloc’ in the European Parliament with a Polish Euro-hater who said that beating wives makes them better people. Though in Poland this is what passes for ‘a joke’. And the party he represents in that land is headed by a holocaust-denying, racist shit-head. So in fact, a pretty good fit for UKIP. Nigel maintains that by having this ‘bloc’ he stands to win more time to speak, AND gets a million pounds extra Euro-cash for his party. Some party that will be. I don’t understand European Parliament.

40 goals scored last night in 8 European Champions League matches. The most significant 2 were the ones Man City allowed in an empty stadium in Moscow after being 2-nil up. Bayern Munich’s 7 against Roma were important because of the humiliation they caused for Ashley Cole, who had to be substituted on competence grounds. Cheryl must has been smirking at that one. Chelsea score 6, even without Diego Costa and tonight Liverpool host Real Madrid. Just think how much better that competition would be if Spurs were playing in it. Its their loss.

Happy wednesday

A xxxx