Udaipur, Rajasthan, India. Most gorgeous city in… in… well, anywhere. Other than Tottenham, which has its own, unique beauty. Because some geezer, not just a random geezer, but a Maharaja, about 500 years ago, built a palace here. Not like the one/two/three in Delhi, they were built by a conquering King, nor like the three/four/five in Jaipur, which were indeed built by a Maharaja, but (probably) a different one. Taller. Fairer. Spoke with a lisp/stutter. Possibly. It all starts to get a bit dizzying. Its called Maharajitis. The names start to blur, the wives (about 9 each), blend together, the architecture: Islamic, Hindu, Persian, Turkish, McAlpine, all starts to induce migraine.

Which wasn’t what happened to Mel at the fabulous ‘City Palace’ here. No, that was more Delhi Belly. She suddenly, horribly, went from pink to white to green (she does have ‘Hulk’ moments), started sweating and, the real tell-tale sign with Mel, she went into the shade. Something she never, ever does when awake/compus mentis/breathing. So I knew it was serious. Thus unfortunately we missed the other 2 palaces here on offer, built (I’m fairly sure) by the same Maharajah, might have been his brother Mikey.

And because building 3 palaces lacks sufficient ‘show of wealth’ to attract anyone’s attention here, he also built 3 massive lakes around which he constructed everything. Ya wouldn’t want a palace without a lake, would you? How tacky would that be?? The result of all this is a spectacularly beautiful city. But like all Indian cities, has its myriad of back alleys in their ‘old town’ parts, which are wonderful. Loud, dirty, congested and filled with a million people, cows, dogs, motor-bikes, cars and ‘auto-rickshaws’ (tuk-tuks by any other name).

I’d already figured out last night, on our way back from the restaurant ‘probably’ responsible for Mel’s tum issues, things about this fantastic mode of transport. Because here in the back streets it is the only way to travel. And what they are is a little frame stuck onto a motor-scooter. Not just any motor scooter but one with a twist grip gear-shift. Which I haven’t seen for 40 years. So they are using a scooter built 50 years ago to take Roger Daltry round the set of Tommy, to carry a metal frame and up to 8 people round the city.

We took one home today. ‘Our’ car would have resulted, it was estimated by a local, to put 20 extra minutes between Mel and a toilet. So the tui-tuk won easily.

Bit like Spurs last night. Spurs always win when I’m in India.

Happy Thursday

A xxxx