Well Rishi Sunak obviously reads my words. Which is why he’s now changed his Cop 27 status from ‘not going’ to ‘trying to find the time to attend’. Well, it was either reading me or Boris announcing his intended attendance. Either way, he kind’a has to go.

Because although our ‘never-ending summer of climate change’ is apparently ending, it is November, FFS. And the daffodils are ‘shooting’. Yup, we obviously have some bulbs out front (who knows where the fuck they are) which think its springtime. Even though I’ve told them countless times to ‘go back! It’s not ready!!!’

Because we do our own gardening. We had a gardener but he left because we asked him to do some gardening. “No, I don’t do that, its dirty”. But we need you to weed the flower beds. Plant the 1473 bulbs for next year which Mel got online. “No, that involves, dirt and digging, don’t do dat”. What do you do then? “Well, I’m a gardener, ain’ I? So I make loads of noise with petrol powered machines. Got a van full of ‘em, ain’ I? Mowin’, blowin’, choppin’, anything that can produce carbon emissions. Don’t do mud and shovels. Bad for the back, innit?”

So we do it. And, maybe its a sign of age, but I like it. I’ve always liked being let loose with chain saw, hedge cutter or even a pair of shears. Because I have a natural tendency to be destructive. Bit like Joey but with bigger toys. Yet now I can even bring myself to plant things. So we get someone in to do the hedges, once a year, because they’re very big, and the rest we do. And the fucking daffs think its March. They’ve got a shock coming when the frost arrives.

Apparently they’re not alone. There’s loads of flowers and plants doing springtime stuff. And although we might get some early blooms, it’ll totally fuck up the flower beds for next Spring, when they’ll have all shot their load. Even animals are struggling and confused. Ever seen a confused hedgehog? Look pretty much like a… hedgehog. But its all bad. And ALL because of climate change. Much as we’ve loved wallowing in the sunshine when normally we’d be wrapped in ski-gear.

Happy Winter

A xxxx