Today I want to talk about global warming. I want to talk about Prince Harry suing the Daily Mail. I want to talk about Tesla cars, the Conservative Conference, about the ‘new deal’ Boris is taking to be ridiculed by the EU today, about Paris fucking fashions. I want to discuss menstrual cycles, circadian rhythms, Boris Bikes. Let’s talk about Lila. Joey. Charlotte Edwards’ thigh, allegedly fondled by Boris. Anything fondled by Boris (long list).

Anything but football. Not football. Can’t do football. Just not on the agenda. Too busy. Too hectic. Too engaged elsewhere to even notice. So apologies to football fans. And also to Spurs fans (notice the ‘subtle’ disconnect). Because what Spurs play is no longer football. As we(‘d like to) know it. Therefore it cannot and will not be discussed here. Oh no. Its beneath me to even make comment. Other than: GGRRRRRAAAAGGGGHHHH****%%%***!!!!!
The Conference in Manchester was surprisingly quiet compared to the Labour one. Maybe Brighton is just a noisier place? Or maybe the BorisCons really only have one message and I think we’re kind’a familiar with it by now. That message will change, in approximately 29 days, but for now…
Tesla cars are much more interesting/funny. Having ‘mastered’ driverless technology, they’re allowing Americans to ‘call their cars’. For a nation so car-bound and generally immobile that walking from Burger King to the car represents a ‘work out I’m not prepared to do’, they can press a button on their phones and the car will come to them!!! Long as its not more than 200 yards. So for a car with ‘full on driverless capability’, that’s a walk in the (car) park. Or it should be. But apparently those 200 yards, for those who’ve tried and filmed it, is more Apocalypse Now than walking in the rain with the one I love. They’ve crashed, they scratched themselves, they’ve attacked passers by, driven over kerbs, onto pavements; pretty much anything and everything but just ‘come to heel’. Which most dogs can do without the benefit of GPS, sensors, radar, sonar and nuclear capability enjoyed by most Teslas.

So how does that look for the whole ‘driverless’ thing??

Meg versus Mail? Watch this space. Harry’s already dropped the ‘D-bomb’ with comparisons to his saintly mother who was literally hounded by the press to her death. You just need to find jurors who haven’t heard of Diana then it can be fair and impartial at trial.

Joey is so bright; this was his mime for ‘the Great Escape’. Genius.

Happy Wednesday
A xxxx