Imitation used to be the sincerest form of flattery. No more. Not in this hypersensitive atmosphere of post-woke, Covid-rich, ultra-correct, nouveau-intolerance. Now its called ‘cultural appropriation’. And is ILLEGAL!!!!

Adele posts a picture of her new hair-do and I thought; ‘that looks stupid’. But everyone else thought ‘NOOOOO!!!! That’s an AFRICAN hair-style and you ain’t no African (even though she comes from Tottenham, which is the nearest approximation outside Zaire), therefore J’ACCUSE!!!! CULTURAL APPROPRIATION!!!” I never realised hair styles had cultural copyrights. Yet apparently they do.

They went back to 2005 to find a photo of Prince Harry attending a fancy dress party as a Nazi. And the Nazis were up in arms (not literally, this time). “How dare that over-privileged (grand)son-of-a-dictator whose family took over the world, shame the good name of Nazis?!!!!” Cultural appropriation.

It wasn’t so long ago that Ali G arrived on our (initially) small screens. Pretending to be a black dude. “Is it ‘cos I is black?” he actually said. On tv. Live. And recorded. It wouldn’t happen today. The hard-lefties at the BBC would show their tolerance and understanding of all races and genders and everything in between, plus those who haven’t yet made up their minds totally, or did once but reserve the right to change it again, by being totally intolerant and demonstrating their total lack of understanding.

I was walking down Golders Green road and I saw a man eating as he walked. In one hand he held a massive chopped liver sandwich, in the other a pickled cucumber. He wasn’t Jewish (I asked). So I called the police to arrest him for cultural appropriation. “THAT’S MY CULTURE!!!!!” I screamed at him. “HOW DARE YOU!!!!”

But the prize goes to Jessica Krug. She’s a professor at George Washington University, specialising in the African American struggle, the problems for poor kids like her growing up in the ‘hood’, in her case, Spanish Harlem, and hardships for Puerto Rican blacks like her.

Except she’s not. She’s a nice (?) Jewish girl from an affluent suburb in Kansas. Who has lived her personal and professional life as someone else. Lecturing, writing papers on the ‘black experience’, on repression, division, inequalities. Where all along she was more equal than most. But now she’s admitted all. Quite bravely really. And is replacing her normal, Friday night dinner of jerked chicken tacos, with roast chicken and tsimmus. Chopped liver. Chicken soup. Kneidlech…

Happy appropriation Day

A xxxx