Andy Murray, the ‘British’ tennis champion, for just a little longer, as we wait for another try to divest ourselves of Scotland, has bemoaned the fact that when Rafa Nadal plays in pain and on medication he’s a hero and when Andy does the same he’s ridiculed as a ‘drama queen’ (Virginia Wade), a tosser (me) and a nonce (errrr, me again). He feels this is double standards being used, and not in his favour. Why?? Why is this? Why is the world so cruel???

Well, its all because one of these two players, and I won’t mention which is which, because its not my place to make judgments, but one is a lovely, heroic, charming Spanish hunk, who we all love dearly and the other is whinging miserable git. Double standards do apply, and so they should.

Because its the Australian Open at the moment and, er, there’s lots of tennis being played out there in Melbourne, none of which I’ve seen, because its not Wimbledon. But one bit I wish I’d seen was the post match interview of the delicious Canadian Eugenie Bouchard, which took place on court, as they do these days. The interviewer, during the analysis of cross-court backhands at game point and drive volleys in the 2nd set (yawn, yawn), asked Ms Bouchard if she’d ‘do a twirl’. And was immediately lambasted for ‘sexism’. Big fuss over this. And I can’t see why. Seems a perfectly normal request to me, totally in keeping with the nature of the game, which is that we watch the men for the tennis and the women for their underwear. The interviewer maintains that it was all relating to the new ‘fluoro’ kits the women, and some men, are wearing. Others maintain that in fact it was a bit weird, a bit pervy, a bit of a ‘Prince Andrew’ moment.

But the most bizarre shit to come out of Australia this week (and remember, ne’er a week passes when that fine nation fails to astound and amaze us) is the sad and rather pathetic ‘blackmail’ plot against Eoin Morgan, the English one-day cricket captain. Some Wally of a Wallaby demanded £35,000 from the English cricket board or else he would ‘reveal details of a relationship Eoin had with a girl 5 years ago!!!!!!’ A relationship that was perfectly normal (so far as we know), nothing extra-marital, 2 single, consenting adults, all strictly kosher. And 35 grand? A lot of money indeed, but enough to commit a crime? 35 million maybe, then at least he could go live in Argentina for the rest of his life (they’ve never been fussy about the history of individuals they accept over there) and eat steak 3 times a day forever. Which would be about 7 years til his heart gave up. But 35k? Pay off some of the mortgage? Buy a new car?? Fit a kitchen??? I wonder if they could pay him with PayPal?

Oh well, at least its Friday,

Have a lovely one

A xxxx