So we need to mask up. Everywhere. Essential. Critical for the ‘R’ number. In shops, on transport, in bed, showering, masking up is compulsory. Even though Boris, as the end product of countless advisors and think tanks and medical gurus, has been telling us since… since March 23rd, that masks are shit. That they make – Read More-
Look, I know it happened on Sunday and now its Tuesday but Monday was just a blur so now we have the opportunity to sit back, with the fullness of hindsight, history and… something beginning with ‘h’… hamazingness, and consider the meaning of life, the universe and everything, as represented by the simple equation: Spurs – Read More-
… and Manchester City win 5 nil. That’s it. That nasty northern spawn of oil billionaires have been reduced to one single result. They win 5 nil. I’d hate that. Can you imagine if your team won, like, every game with style, class, beautiful flowing football, clean sheets and 5 unanswered goals? Awful. Where’s the – Read More-
If you took a double-sided bulldozer, a really big one, put a tower on it so you could add a full size wrecking-ball which could take down a three storey building, added metal spikes round the track so you could downward destroy as well as front, back and above, and then, made it look like – Read More-
Big Brother watches us in many ways and many guises. I’m not talking about Cctv cameras all over the place, reaching such a ridiculous level that a man can barely take a piss on a subway train any more without fear of repercussions! Exposing oneself in public is now almost a thing of the past. – Read More-
So we’re all living in dread and anticipation of ‘the second wave!!!’ When the virus will return. And they’re working on it already. Obviously. They were actually working on the second wave before the first one arrived. But the advice now is unambiguous. Ok, let me rephrase that because the word ‘unambiguous’ has been officially – Read More-
How do Oriental people ask to be furloughed? It’s like they invented a word (didn’t exist before March 18th, 2020) which was inherently and totally prejudiced against Far Easterners. Some things just can’t be done. The words just don’t fit, won’t come out, can’t be formed by your tongue. It’s like you asking for directions – Read More-
I found a new radio station. Our painter/decorator/all round get shit done person had it on his phone. And it is just great. If, like him and me, you are mired in music of the 60s, 70s, 80s. He told me it was ‘absolute classic rock’ and now, having passed Chinese censorship rules, Alexa plays – Read More-
It’s a BIG day today. Humongous. Yeah, its July 4th, the day when any American with any sense will look at their president and rue the day that the British were cast from their shores. But there’s bigger things than Trump. Even bigger than Trump’s hair. Because today represents the absolute and total distillation of – Read More-
It’s an old family motto. All families descended from the shtetls of Poland have family mottos. And coats of arms, family ‘piles’ in the countryside (ours is a mud hut outside Omsk; nice in July). And the Conway motto is: “I stand therefore I play tennis.” I would say it in Latin but you wouldn’t – Read More-