Have you noticed how many ‘b-words’ are in the papers at the moment? There’s Boris and Brexit, we’ve had those for a while now. To which we must add ‘bullying’ and ‘bitch’ in honour of Priti Patel, backstabbing and Boronavirus. Bovid 19. When did all these Bs come to prominence? I didn’t vote for them. Though 70 million Americans didn’t vote for Trump but he still remains their de facto President until someone blows him up. So Biden can enter that house. And remember, Joe Biden is personally responsible for another peak in the upsurge of B use in November. The R-rate for B-use is currently 2.6%. Dangerously high.

Yesterday Sir Alex Allan resigned. Yep, never heard of him until yesterday either. Because he ‘shot to fame’ as head of MI5. Which is the diametric opposite of a ‘high profile job’. His payslips were addressed to ‘M’ or ‘Q’, possibly even ‘B’, just to be topical. Spies generally avoid linkedin and such like, unless they’re looking for a new job. With a better… country. Anyway, for 9 years he’s been the head of something or other in the Civil Service and ended up as Boris’s adviser at Number 10 about the ‘code of conduct’. He put in the complaint about Priti Patel bullying, abusing and being the nasty little Brexiteer that many of us always suspected her to be. Apparently she pulled one ministerial aid’s pig-tails then gave another a wedgie in the playground! So Alex Allan reported her, in accordance with Boris’s Blueprint for Behaviour Becoming a Minister (4 more Bs). Because apparently she was nothing short of a fucking tyrant at the Home Office.

She was found to be guilty. But then Boris refused to get rid of her. Despite the continual history of bullying behaviour by Priti. Boris forgave her. Due to her very sincere (‘scuse me while I vomit) apology and very believable promise that it won’t happen again. Sir Alex had no choice really but to get the hell out’a Dodge. He did his job and was made to look pointless and and superfluous by Boris. Bye then.

Anyway its Saturday night, Spurs are currently up against Manchester City and if these were normal times we’d be having friends over for dinner. These are NOT normal times. We’re in a lockdown of… of almost lockdown proportions and thus we can’t breach the code of conduct. But heh, friends still get hungry and were we to be in contravention of protocols, Boris would forgive us. He’s got form.

Happy days

A xxxx